


Chat Fic I Wrote In Two Hours That No One Wants

by Writing_is_Gone



Category: Gone Series - Michael Grant, Monster Series - Michael Grant
Genre: Anxiety, Chat Names, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Sexual Abuse, References to Depression, References to Drugs, Suicide mentions, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2018-10-03 01:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10233053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_is_Gone/pseuds/Writing_is_Gone
Summary: Ms.Frizzle added RoyaltyTM, tiredofyou, and ChainsandWhipsExciteMe into a groupchat.RoyaltyTM: what the hell????is this??????tiredofyou: that's enough ?'s





	1. tiredofeverything

**Author's Note:**

> Ms.Frizzle = Sam Temple
> 
> RoyaltyTM = Caine Soren
> 
> tiredofyou = Diana Ladris
> 
> ChainsandWhipsExciteMe = Drake Merwin
> 
> the-gay-palette-suits-me-better = Artful Roger
> 
> SurferAndFisher-Boi = Quinn Gaither
> 
> PureTM = Edilio Escobar
> 
> gunsandcigarettes = Lana Arwen Lazar

_Ms.Frizzle added RoyaltyTM, tiredofyou, and ChainsandWhipsExciteMe into a groupchat._

**RoyaltyTM** : what the hell????is this??????

 **tiredofyou** : that’s enough ?’s

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I am very bored and

_Ms.Frizzle changed the chat to tiredofeverything_

**tiredofyou** : i want trademark

 **Ms.Frizzle** : K

_Ms.Frizzle changed the chat to tiredofeverythingTM_

**RoyaltyTM** : but why me?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : were in hell

 **Ms.Frizzle** : No you can leave anytime you want

 **tiredofyou** : why did you start this at like midnight

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I am very bored and you guys are my only friends i havent bugged today

 **tiredofyou** : and i trusted you

 **RoyaltyTM** : and i was thankful you didnt do this

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : i am thankful cuz now i have two groupchats

 **RoyaltyTM** : No youre thankful for the fact you now can bug me and diana all night long

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : ye that 2

 **tiredofyou** : pls type civilized

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : hell no

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I regret everything now

 **RoyaltyTM** : good

 **tiredofyou** : youre also happy cuz your toy is here

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Yes def that

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I am NOT his toy

 **RoyaltyTM** : how do you do the lenny face

 **tiredofyou** : you cant i tried

 **RoyaltyTM** : dam

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : you can spell the entire word ya know

 **RoyaltyTM** : nO

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Y’all

 **RoyaltyTM** : look what you did

 **tiredofyou** : explain

 **RoyaltyTM** : anytime someone says y-a sams says teXANs woRDS

 **tiredofyou** : omg

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : ya

 **RoyaltyTM** : NO

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Y’all’d

 **tiredofyou** : ya

 **RoyaltyTM** : i trusted you

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Y’all’d’ve

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : how do pronounce that

 **Ms.Frizzle** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **RoyaltyTM** : howd you do that

 **Ms.Frizzle** : aint telling

 **tiredofyou** : night boys

 **Ms.Frizzle** : *bois

 **RoyaltyTM** : dangit

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : *Dammit

 **RoyaltyTM** : b YE

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Gtg

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : k <3

 **Ms.Frizzle** : No

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : forever heartbroken now

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : thx

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Np

_InnocentExceptQuinn_

**Ms.Frizzle** : Hi

 **the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : how are you awake it’s 5

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Nightmares

 **the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : shit ಠ_ಠ srry

 **Ms.Frizzle** : It fine

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : he right

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Youre up this early anyway

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : so? It’s for my job

 **Ms.Frizzle** : It a school day

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : im not riding the bus today

 **Ms.Frizzle** : That’s irrational

 **the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : why

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : the bus driver had his third heart attack in two weeks and its a different bus driver,, Sam’s a bad-luck charm

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Am not

 **PureTM** : You so are.

 **the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : hey babe

 **PureTM** : Hey, how’s art school?

 **The-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : good and you?

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : look its one of the three TMs

 **PureTM** : Good. Quinn, stop it.

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : NO. YOU CANT SILENCE ME

 **PureTM** : Where’s Sam?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Sorry on another chat

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : how many do you have

 **Ms.Frizzle** : 5

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : ajdksfsdssk what the heck SAM

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I like having friends

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : im at the dock, we’ll discuss this later

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I dont see what we have to discuss but k later

 **PureTM** : I’m at school, so talk to you in lunch, Roger.

 **the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : talk to you then

 **Ms.Frizzle** : bye roger

 **the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : bye

_NeedsHelpTbh_

**gunsandcigarettes** : you comin after school today?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : ofc

 **tiredofyou** : same

 **tiredofyou** : school’s lettin me out for therapy

 **Ms.Frizzle** : yay

 **tiredofyou** : lana watch

 **tiredofyou:** ya

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Y’all’d’ve

 **gunsandcigarettes** : wha tthe

 **tiredofyou** : is everything fine

 **gunsandcigarettes** : my parents are even more worried than normal cuz they found me dying in my room thx

 **tiredofyou** : good.

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Is patrick okay

_gunsandcigarettes sent the photo [he’s getting a lil chubby]_

**Ms.Frizzle** : Dont listen to lana patrick your perfect

 **tiredofyou** : tell him he’s the reason my mind is clear

 **gunsandcigarettes** : k

 **gunsandcigarettes** : he says right back atcha

 **tiredofyou** : atcha

 **Ms.Frizzle** : new texan word

 **tiredofyou** : yeS

 **tiredofyou** : Lana?

 **gunsandcigarettes** : it happened again you fuckers

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Sorry not sorry

 **gunsandcigarettes** : i can tbreathe

 **gunsandcigarettes** : sanj is worried

 **gunsandcigarettes** : help

 **tiredofyou** : can your mom make those lemon squares

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Those are really good pls lana

 **gunsandcigarettes** : fine

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I will bring koolaid

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Diana pls bring movies

 **tiredofyou** : k

 **gunsandcigarettes** : sam you cured my mental illness with that

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Now i have a life purpose thanks Lana

 **tiredofyou** : bye

 **Ms.Frizzle** : bye

 **gunsandcigarettes** : bye

_Coates_Bad_Trio_

**RoyaltyTM** : why are you smiling like that

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : i didnt not set bug’s underpants on fire while they were on the flag pole

 **tiredofyou** : drake wtf

 **RoyaltyTM** : we’ll come back to you in a min drake diana why are you smiling like that

 **tiredofyou** : i get to leave this hellhole

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : good for you can you take me with you

 **tiredofyou** : no

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : fu

 **RoyaltyTM** : why are you leaving

 **tiredofyou** : therapy

 **RoyaltyTM** : oh do you want me to drop you anywhere or pick you up

 **tiredofyou** : i got a ride no worries

 **RoyaltyTM** : just being a good friend

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : i can hear the emphasis in your voice

 **RoyaltyTM** : now back to this bug underpants thing

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : shit


	2. Tag Yourself I'm Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ???? idek man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too-Smart-For-You = Astrid Ellison
> 
> cantbevinced = Sanjit Brattle-Chance
> 
> onyourleftboii = Brianna
> 
> gravityandboysdontaffectme = Dekka Talent

**_Okay this is Fluffy’s brother, and I was sitting here with her as she wrote this, she has a spread sheet for this story, for everyone's names, and on a column she literally has “TeXAN WoRDS.”  And she searched “types of cactuses”_ **

**_no joke, she is seriously_ ** **messed** **_up._ **

_HappyforLife_

**SurferAndFisher-Boi** : okay we need to talk

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : what are we talkin about

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : Sam

 **cantbevinced** : y r we talkin bout sam

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : he can see this Quinn

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : no he cant i have his phone

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : why do you have his phone???????

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : we’re taking a test in history and i stole it and

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : i have his passcode so nbd

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : yes bd this is such a privacy issue

 **cantbevinced** : stop ignoring me

 **cantbevinced** : what about sam

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : i think he depressed or smth

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : what evidence do you have

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : hes really quiet and his eyes like glaze over sometimes,

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : And he zones out alot like 75% of the time

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : I could talk to him for you

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : pls

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : he wont talk to me at all

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : I’m really worried

 **cantbevinced** : maybe he just needs space

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : idek man

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : alright someone just texted him and asked what type of koolaid how do i respond

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : DOnt

 **PureTM** : Sam’s on his way.

 **SurferAndFisher-Boi** : you guys got done with the test that quick? shit

 **PureTM** : He reached into his bag and looked ready to fight.

 **cantbevinced** : fight the government or fight the school

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : theres a difference?

 **cantbevinced** : yup

 **PureTM** : The Government.

 **cantbevinced** : youd better run quinn

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : there’s a difference with that too?

 **cantbevinced** : yea,,, gov is motivated, but you dont want to but your pushed

 **cantbevinced** : school is really excited too, but not very motivated

 **cantbevinced** : Government means ready to put your head on spike during your kids bday party and happily do it.

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : omg

 **PureTM** : Quinn, is everything alright?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Things are fine edilio

 **cantbevinced** : are you okay sam?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Im fine

 **Ms.Firzzle** : Pissed but fine

 **PureTM** : Why can’t Quinn type?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : His phone had been repossesed

 **cantbevined** : omg

_NeedsHelpTbh_

**gunsandcigarettes** : what type of koolaid do ya have?

 **gunsandcigarettes** : sam?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Nyall

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Someone took my phone so I had to get it back

 **Ms.Frizzle** : On an unrelated topic can we go to the baseball field before movie marathon

 **gunsandcigarettes** : that’s not even a texan word

 **Ms.Frizzle** : *teXANs woRDS

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Im sorry but thats how we have to spell it

 **gunsandcigarettes** : yes we going to the bb field

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I have pink lemon, norm lemon, trop punch, and cherry

 **tiredofyou** : pink lemon

 **gunsandcigarettes** : ya same

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Y’all’d

 **gunsandcigarettes** : that was an accident

 **tiredofyou** : doesnt matter

 **gunsandcigarettes** : yes it does

_gunsandcigarettes started a conversation with cantbevinced_

**gunsandcigarettes** : say ya infront of sam

 **cantbevinced** : NO I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS ITS NOT FUN

 **gunsandcigarettes** : omg plls calm down

 **cantbevinced** : k, but i thought it was like an emergency you never talk to me during school

 **gunsandcigarettes** : important discussion: is nyall a teXAN woRD

 **cantbevinced** : i have to ask an expert

_HappyforLife_

**cantbevinced** : is nyall a texan word

 **Ms.Frizzle** : *teXAN woRD

 **cantbevinced** : is that why lana writes like that???????

 **Ms.Frizzle** : its the proper spelling

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : nO its NOt

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : and nyall isnt a ‘teXAN woRD”

 **cantbevinced** : i came here for edilio’s word

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : wHAt

 **PureTM** : Judge says ‘yes its a teXAN woRD’. Quinn would also like his phone back, Sam.

 **Ms.Frizzle** : too bad :) :) :) :) :)

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : stop IT.

 **cantbevinced** : thx

_cantbevinced started a conversation with gunsandcigarettes_

**cantbevinced** : survey says yes

 **gunsandcigarettes** : shit

 **cantbevinced** : you talk to sam?

 **gunsandcigarettes** : ya why?

 **cantbevinced** : y didnt ya tell me

 **gunsandcigarettes** : aint my place to talk about sam like that why does it matter?

 **cantbevinced** : well you could say that ‘me and sam are friends’ but were dating

 **cantbevinced** : i would like to know that one of my friends and gf know each other and get along

 **gunsandcigarettes** : sanj, me and sam are like cactuses

 **cantbevinced** : cactuses?

 **gunsandcigarettes** : we both need a very certain amount of certain things or we die

 **gunsandcigarettes** : one of those things are secrets, the other is space, and finally is other cactuses

 **gunsandcigarettes** : me and sam need to have an environment,,, you’re like the guy with the water pail

 **gunsandcigarettes** : important and knows how to exactly do everything right for his cactuses

 **cantbevinced** : lana,,, am i really that important to you

 **gunsandcigarettes** : of course even before we started dating

_cantbevinced sent image [im crying]_

**gunsandcigarettes** : aw, sanj

 **cantbevinced** : people are looking at me funny i gtg <3

 **gunsandcigarettes** : …<3

_AmazingMoofs_

**onyourleftboii** : heyyy

 **gravityandboysdontaffectme** : hey bri

 **onyourleftboii** : soooo,,,, friday governments coming to check up on us

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **gravityandboysdontaffectme** : sam relax

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I hate this

 **onyourleftboii** : i kno

 **gunsandcigarettes** : you can type 1000000 wpm so please spell it right

 **onyourleftboii** : no

 **gunsandcigarettes** : guys watch… ya

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Y’all’d’ve’d

 **onyourleftboii** : what

 **gravityandboysdontaffectme** : omg nooooo sam

 **onyourleftboii** : what if this is why caine hates texas sam took all the good meme mgenes for himself

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Meme genes,,,menes,,,gemes,,,pepe

 **gravityandboysdontaffectme** : sam no stop it now please

 **Ms.Frizzle** : K

 **onyourleftboii** : it dat boi

 **Ms.Frizzle** : O shit waddup

 **gravityandboysdontaffectme** : bYE

_NeedsHelpTbh_

**Ms.Frizzle** : So im a cactus

 **gunsandcigarettes** : he told you that

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Yea i caught him crying uncontrolably in bathroom

 **tiredofyou** : who is this ‘he’

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Lana’s bf

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I asked him what’s wrong and he just shook his phone at me

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Is diana a cactus too

 **gunsandcigarettes** : yes, but she needs salt

 **Ms.Frizzle:** From teenage boy’s tears

 **tiredofyou** : true

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Can i be a gymnocalycium, its pretty with pink flowers and small

 **tiredofyou** : do you actually research cactus

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Yea

 **Ms.Frizzle** : You’re a ariocarpus, those are the spiny circle ones

 **tiredofyou** : i agree with this

 **gunsandcigarettes** : and me

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Youre a hatiora, they look like branches with pretty small flowers

 **gunsandcigarettes** : i searched these up and honestly agreed

 **tiredofyou** : so i went back and we’re going to the baseball field first why

 **Ms.Frizzle:** You’ll see :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

 **gunsandcigarettes** : yes! passive aggressive smileys!

_InnocentExceptQuinn_

**Ms.Frizzle** : Is Quinn with any of you?

 **PureTM** : He’s with me. Why?

_Ms.Frizzle sent image [lookie at your phone quinn]_

**PureTM** : my phone

 **PureTM** : sammmmm

 **the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : that honestly terrifies me what did you do to it

_Ms.Frizzle uploaded a video [i thought you liked baseball quinn :) :) :)]_

**PureTM** : what am i supposed to tell my parents????

 **Ms.Frizzle** : The TruthTM.

 **Ms.Frizzle** : You took your mentally unstable friend’s phone so he destroyed yours

 **PureTM** : what do you mean ‘mentally unstable’

 **Ms.Frizzle** : gtg

 **PureTM** : no sam come back


	3. Quinn Cares Everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boozeTM = Orc
> 
> Guys, I am saying this now, Orc is not drunk, his fingers are to big to type properly okay? Let him LIVE.

_ Too-Smart-For-You started a conversation with Ms.Frizzle _

**Too-Smart-For-You** : sam can we talk

**Ms.Frizzle** : Astrid its three in the morning

**Too-Smart-For-You** : yet you respond instantly

**Ms.Frizzle** : Im walking my friends dog

**Ms.Frizzle** : Do you want to see how adorable he is 

_ Ms.Frizzle uploaded image [look at my son] _

**Too-Smart-For-You** : he’s amazing sam

**Too-Smart-For-You** : but back to the topic, why did smash quinn’s phone with a baseball bat

**Ms.Frizzle** : He took my phone

**Ms.Frizzle** : Did you see the video yet

**Too-Smart-For-You** : yes i saw it but you need to talk to him

**Ms.Frizzle** : Gtg Astrid 

**Too-Smart-For-You** : SAM

_ Ms.Frizzle emailed SurferAndFisher-Boi _

[hey]

[hey man]

[look im sorry but things are really difficult okay]

[just talk to me man id never judge ya]

[okay so when the government told the world who has powers i was in new york and this gang like jumped me, and by gang i mean mob, like 30 people or something and i was hit and run and all that jazz for two months]

[shit man why didnt ya tell me sooner]

[thats not just it,,, my mom was gone when i got back and ive been on my own for like 4 months,,, the gov’s looking for my dad and my stepdad trying to adopt me and my twin (who i didnt know exist til like 5 months ago) straights up ignores me cuz mom got rid of him, and]

[sam, you can tell me anything]

[the gov, and police already know,,,, but my stepdad is abusive and pedo okay?]

[dude he cant get custody of you though right like my mom will take you in or beat him to death, or kidnap you, you know this]

[he can, because some statue of limitations thing but like gunsandcigarettes and another friend of mine is in my therapy group and we dont talk about that shit with anyone else, but i am getting help just dont tell anyone k?]

[dude id never do you like that,,, but like this isnt as big as yours but im gay and in a relatiionship]

[dude spill now]

[ugh but hes from coates and you hate them]

[tell me or ill leave now]

[....Caine Soren]

[omg gtg]

[sam no come back]

_ tiredofeverythingTM _

**Ms.Frizzle** : Caine is dating someone

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : who

**Ms.Frizzle** : Quinn Gaither

**RoyaltyTM** : how do you know that

**Ms.Frizzle:** He told me

**tiredofyou** : omg spill the tea sam

**RoyaltyTM** : no dont sam

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : who is that

**Ms.Frizzle** : My friend since preschool,,, and Caine’s bf

**RoyaltyTM** : i hate you so much

**RoyaltyTM** : and nyall isnt a texan word

**tiredofyou** : teXAN woRDS

**Ms.Frizzle** : It is one though

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : r u ready 4 friday

**tiredofyou** : stop it

**Ms.Frizzle** : Dont remind me 

**RoyaltyTM** : all the the moofs are coming to Coates,,, sneak Quinn with you guys

**Ms.Frizzle** : Do you remember the chocolate your mom gave me when i came over 

**RoyaltyTM** : yes

**Ms.Frizzle** : bring it for me 

**RoyaltyTM** : got it

_ Ms.Frizzle emailed SurferAndFisher-Boi _

[k im back]

[where did you go]

[talkin to caine]

[how do you know him,, my mom aint mad i told her that you got attacked by a mob and going through pain pill withdrawl]

[thanks for makin my sound like a pill head and hes my twin]

[what]

[yeah fratenal mom got rid of him cuz he looked like the dude she cheated with]

[but you two are 100% related]

[yeah]

[wow]

[so you told him about nyall and hows it teXAN woRD]

[yes and how a friend of mine destroyed my phone]

[k sorry again]

[it fine]

_ NeedsHelpTbh _

**tiredofyou** : hows the sleepover sammy

**Ms.Frizzle** : Great,, patrick makes the best pillow

_ Ms.Frizzle sent the image [jealous diana?] _

**gunsandcigarettes** : get off my dog sam

**Ms.Frizzle** : He so warm though

**Ms.Frizzle** : Plus he doesnt mind

**tiredofyou:** cant you push him off

**gunsandcigarettes** : no im at the store for some aroma therapy crap for friday at coates

**gunsandcigarettes** : i mean its your turn next and were already going there so

**gunsandcigarettes** : Sam i swear to god if your the one playing halsey so loud im gonna kick your ass

**gunsandcigarettes** : sam unlock the door now

**Ms.Frizzle** : Promise not to hit me

**gunsandcigarettes** : k

**tiredofyou** : yea we can do mine friday

**tiredofyou** : guys is everything okay

**Ms.Frizzle** : Lana lied to me >:( 

**gunsandcigarettes** : had it coming

**Ms.Frizzle** : And worse she woke up patrick

**tiredofyou** : you monster

**gunsandcigarettes** : he layed right back down and hes asleep again i even said sorry to him

**tiredofyou** : sam or pat

**gunsandcigarettes** : Patrick ofc

**Ms.Frizzle** : Im too tired to be mad and she lets me on patrick its fine

**tiredofyou** : night guys

**gunsandcigarettes** : night

**Ms.Frizzle** : night

_ boozeTM started a conversation with Ms.Frizzle _

**boozeTM** : hey sammy

**boozeTM** : sammmy

**boozeTM** : sammmyyyyyyy

**Ms.Frizzle** : Hey orc,,,its five in the morning 

**boozeTM** : did you knw abtu firday

**Ms.Frizzle** : Yeah, want lana to drive you up in her truck?

**boozeTM** : yes pls

**Ms.Frizzle** : How are you and howard

**boozeTM** : fin howd is delaing

**boozeTM** : im tlking to snder and jezie

**Ms.Frizzle** : Do they know about friday?

**boozeTM** : ye they wan to talk to u bout thir gardn

**Ms.Frizzle:** I’ll talk to them then

**boozeTM** : i rely like thieri fasion

**Ms.Frizzle** : Did they choose something for you?

**boozeTM** : yeah

_ AmazingMoofs _

**onyourleftboii** : whose ready to skip class

**gravityandboysdontaffectme** : you cant skip class its the middle of the week

**onyourleftboii** : but dekka,,,, its so boring

**onyourleftboii** : plus i have to stay still or det

**onyourleftboii** : do you know how hard that is

**boozeTM** : as hard as me

**onyourleftboii** : yeah that hard

**gravityandboysdontaffectme** : hey orc

**boozeTM** : hey dekks

**gravityandboysdontaffectme** : was that intential or?

**boozeTM** : yes

**gunsandcigarettes** : guys it too early for this

**onyourleftboii** : no its not, btw your out of milk i had some of your cherrios

**gunsandcigarettes** : i knew you were the only taking me food

**gravityandboysdontaffectme** : bri thats stealing

**Ms.Frizzle** : Im the only one of you heathens that has a capital in their name

**onyourleftboii** :  all my friends are heathens, take it slow

**boozeTM** : wait for them to ask you who you know

**gravityandboysdontaffectme** : look what you did

**Ms.Frizzle** : Please don't make any sudden moves

**gunsandcigarettes** : dammit sam

**Ms.Frizzle** : You don't know the half of the abuse

**onyourleftboii** : all my friends are heathens, take it slow

**onyourleftboii** : wait for them to ask you who you know

**boozeTM** : please don't make any sudden moves

**onyouleftboii** : you don't know the half of the abuse

**gravityandboysdontaffectme** : pls stop i know you copied and pasted that

**Ms.Frizzle** : What if we did?

**gunsandcigarettes** : stop trying to be cool sam

**Ms.Frizzle** : Fine, and now skipping brianna

**onyourleftboii** : i cant read suddenly i dont know

**Ms.Frizzle** : BRIANNA

**onyourleftboii** : fine sammy

**onyourleftboii** : ahflhdhjdfhj

**gravityandboysdontaffectme** : what

**onyourleftboii** : hey sammmmy

**Ms.Frizzle** : Oh god no

**onyourleftboii** : dont be mean sammy

**Ms.Frizzle** : Pls stop

**gravityandboysdontaffectme** : whats going on wheres brianna

**onyourleftboii** : you know those scenes in cartoons where one kid is being held back by the forhead by another kid, that

**gravityandboysdontaffectme** : omw

**Ms.Frizzle** : Drake why cant you bug me on the other chat

**boozeTM** : thats drek get of her phone

**onyourleftboii** : lol no?

**onyourleftboii** : my phont got taken by ghghgh

**Ms.Frizzle** : ?

**onyourleftboii** : got my phone back dekka came to the rescue

**gravityandboysdontaffectme** : bye school starting

**Ms.Frizzle** : bye

**boozeTM** : bye 

_ CoatesBadTrio _

**tiredofyou** : so Drake got his phone taken away 

**RoyaltyTM** : yes he stealing it back at lunch tho

**tiredofyou** : he got detention again so dont know how thats gonna work

**RoyaltyTM** : what did he do this time

**tiredofyou** : took some younger girl’s phone

**tiredofyou** : she a moof so she got it back

**RoyaltyTM** : which one

**tiredofyou** : the speedy one

**RoyaltyTM** : ah

**RoyaltyTM** : her and drake fight each other like 24/7 for some reason

**tiredofyou** : do i look like i care

**RoyaltyTM** : tru

**RoyaltyTM** : why did you go to the office 

**tiredofyou** : i need a pass for my friends friday theyre comin to spend the day here

**RoyaltyTM** : ah

**tiredofyou** : can i met quinn

**RoyaltyTM** : why do you wanna do that

**tiredofyou** : as your ex i need to warn him

**RoyaltyTM** : then no

**tiredofyou** : sam will do it then 

**RoyaltyTM** : NO

_ tiredofeverythingTM _

**tiredofyou** : sam can you introduce me to quinn

**Ms.Frizzle** : Sure

**RoyaltyTM** : NO sam dont

**Ms.Frizzle** : Why not

**RoyaltyTM** : im your brother isnt that enough

_ Ms.Frizzle uploaded gif [sure,jan] _

**RoyaltyTM** : Fine two cases of that chocolate you wanted

**Ms.Frizzle** : Hmmm

**tiredofyou** : sam i need to warn him of Caine

**Ms.Frizzle** : Diana is right tho

**RoyaltyTM** : Sam pls dont blow this he didnt know before i changed p;s

**tiredofyou** : sam think of the greater good

**Ms.Frizzle** : I’ll think about it

**RoyaltyTM** : S am pls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fluffiestdork 
> 
> my tumblr check it out guys, just come talk to me on there about gone.  
> It can even be anon, just pls, i'm begging you


	4. Sammy's Missing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I been feeling bad so this isn't what I planned but I can work on it.

_InnocentExceptQuinn_

**SurferAndFisher-Boii:** guess whos rich bf bought them a new phone

 **the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : are you gay now

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : bi but its brand new too guys

 **PureTM** : What are you Sam?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Depressed

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : sam stop making those jokes

 **Ms.Frizzle** : They aint jokes

 **PureTM** : Sam, are you getting help.

 **Ms.Frizzle** : ye

 **PureTM** : Alright if you say so.

 **the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : guys im comin over for an art exibit i cant wait

 **Ms.Frizzle** : wheres the exhibit

 **the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : its like a firehouse auction/charity thing and i get to sell my stuff

 **PureTM** : I’m buying all of it.

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : can i come

 **PureTM** : No.

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : >:(

 _RoyaltyTM_ _added SurferAndFisher-Boii and Ms.Frizzle into a groupchat._

 _RoyaltyTM_ _changed groupname to Please_Don’t_Sam_

 **RoyaltyTM** : sam im begging pleass dont

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : what’s going on

 **RoyaltyTM** : my ex wants to talk to you and that cant happen

 **RoyaltyTM** : sam pls say you wont

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : what if i want to met them

 **RoyaltyTM** : do you want to

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : i mean you said your still friends with them

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : i want to be friends with your friends

 **RoyaltyTM** : no you dont

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : wym

 **RoyaltyTM** : you heard rumors about the psycho rite?

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : yes, sam says hes annoying

 **RoyaltyTM** : he is and hes my bodyguard

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : why do you need a bodyguard

 **RoyaltyTM** : 1, rich

 **RoyaltyTM** : 2, my parents piss people off

 **RoyaltyTM** : 3, i piss people off

 **RoyaltyTM** : 4, i instantly go to jail for using my powers on others

 **RoyaltyTM** : 5, if i dont keep control on him he will either kill everyone or kidnap his crush (who is sam)

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : ok that makes sense

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : he has a crush on Sam omg

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : are you okay sam

 **RoyaltyTM** : he usually isnt this quiet

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : SAM

_HappyforLife_

**SurferandFisher-Boii** : SAm

 **cantbevinced** : what about him

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : is something the matter quinn

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : i cant get to sam to talk to me

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : im really scared

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : alright give me a minute

 _Too-Smart-For-You_ _started a conversation with Ms.Frizzle_

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : Sam people are worried talk to quinn

 **Too-Smart-For-You** : sam ?

 _Too-Smart-For-You_ _emailed tiredofyou_

[im sorry to bug you but we are not friends on here so i cant start a conversation, but you’re friends with sam and he is not responding can you try to get in contact with him pls?]

[who are you]

[im astrid ellison, sam’s ex, and his friends, he wont respond not even to quinn]

[on it]

_tiredofeverythingTM_

**tiredofyou** : sam quinn wants to talk to you

 **RoyaltyTM** : Sam this isnt funny

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : whats wrong

 **RoyaltyTM** : sam wont respond

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : what what do you mean

 **tiredofyou** : sam talk to someone

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : sam please your scaring me thats hard to do please

_NeedsHelpTbh_

**tiredofyou** : sam talk now

 **gunsandcigarettes** : whats going on

 **tiredofyou** : sam aint talking to anyone

 **gunsandcigarettes** : ya

 **gunsandcigarettes** : om sam talk to us pls

 **gunsandcigarettes** : sam i mean it

_AmazingMoofs_

**gunsandcigarettes** : sam i swear to god talk to me

 **onyourleftboii** : what

 **gunsandcigarettes** : sam aint talking to anyone

 **gravityandboysdontaffectme** : seriously

 **gunsandcigarettes** : yes

 **onyourleftboii** : what he cant do that can he

 **gravityandboysdontaffectme** : apparently he can

 **boozeTM** : sam ths aint funy

_SurferAndFisher-Boii started a conversation with RoyaltyTM_

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : caine im really worried

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : ive called, text, emailed, im going to his house in a min

 **RoyaltyTM** : he’s prob fine

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : sam knows this is scaring people and he would do that on purpose exceptly to me

 **RoyaltyTM** : okay maybe his phone died or he lost it

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : then he would have emailed me!

 **RoyaltyTM** : email him to let him know maybe he thinks we didn’t notice or smth

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : okay

_SurferAndFisher-Boii emailed Ms.Frizzle_

[sam you’re scaring a lot of people is everything okay

sam this isnt funny talk to me

Sam]

_SurferAndFisher-Boii started a conversation with RoyaltyTM_

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : hes not responding

 **RoyaltyTM** : alright now you can panic

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : I know t hat yo uass hat

 **RoyaltyTM** : there’s no need for that language

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

_Ms.Frizzle sent to [All Contacts]_

{Guys relax i took a nap}

_Please_Don’t_Sam_

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : yo took a n ap?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Yes, actually it was a accident

 **RoyaltyTM** : DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED EVERYONE WAS

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Now i do

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : you fell asleep midday

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Yes

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : we’re getting you insomia pills

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Why

 **RoyaltyTM** : so this doesnt happen you little shit

 **Ms.Frizzle** : K, if it helps thunderstorms were going on in the background

 **RoyaltyTM** : why the hell you were listening to thunderstorms

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Halsey acoustic, hurricane, with stormsounds is the background

 **SurferAndFisher-Boii** : just dont do it again okay

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Okay

_NeedsHelpTbh_

**gunsandcigarettes** : sam what the hell

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Im getting insomia pills if it helps

 **gunsandcigarettes** : it does a little but still we were so worried

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I wouldnt you know

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I would talk to you guys or quinn, or someone

 **tiredofyou** : yeah just be careful, what if you were swimming, or bathing, or driving or smth

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I cant drive, and it’s too cold to swim, i’ll shower

 **tiredofyou** : you can fall asleep standing up

 **Ms.Frizzle** : The water will be too cold

 **gunsandcigarettes** : what if smth happens patrick’s favorite uncle will be gone

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Tell him not to worry

 **gunsandcigarettes** : no, hes too anxious hes hiding under the couch

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Patrick Im Sorry

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Im sorry to you two too

 **tiredofyou** : too many 2’s

 **gunsandcigarettes** : ya making it worse

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Who’d’ve

 **Ms.Frizzle** : You did that on purpose and im thankful

 **gunsandcigarettes** : when are ya getting ya pills

 **tiredofyou** : Lana stop

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Y’all’n’t,,,aint’d’ll’ve

 **tiredofyou** : what the fuck Sam

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Theres two ya’s

 **Ms.Frizzle** : And next week prob

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Gtg

_ChainsandWhipsExciteMe started a conversation with Ms.Frizzle_

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : what the hell Sam I was so worried pls dont do this again

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Drake relax caine buying me insomia pills

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : how can i relax you could died

 **Ms.Frizzle** : By taking a nap

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Y es

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Drake im fine

_Ms.Frizzle sent the image [lookie, fine]_

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : No, im too mad to happy at the picture

 **Ms.Frizzle** : How can i make you not mad

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : spend tomorrow with me

 **Ms.Frizzle** : After the checkup?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : I dont care when

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Alright, just stop being mad

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : YES, i got a date

 **Ms.Frizzle** : It aint a date

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : yes it is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The entire time I wrote this, I thought, 'Caine and Quinn sound like worried parents who child ran off a Walmart' and i think thats beautiful.


	5. A Government Dude who isnt an AssholeTM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip to Coates.

**_Bro here, I can tell you, she paused the fic for like 45+ minutes just to fucking look up the meaning of the names._ **

**_When they were searching up “Orc” Wilberforce showed up._ **

**_I'm getting an AO3 account and maybe  ff.net account._ **

**_I'm just ranting while they show me the format of AO3._ **

 

_ Too-Smart-For-You started a conversation with Ms.Frizzle _

**Too-Smart-For-You** : so hows coates?

**Ms.Frizzle** : We’re not there yet, but do you wanna hear a story

**Too-Smart-For-You** : sure, i guess

**Ms.Frizzle** : Okay imagine this, My friend who we’re gonna call Mary Jane is driving

**Too-Smart-For-You** : mary jane? Really

**Ms.Frizzle** : Yes, now shoosh, Im in the front with patrick inbewteen us

**Too-Smart-For-You** : who is he?

**Ms.Frizzle** : My doggo son i sent you a picture of him

**Too-Smart-For-You** : alright go on

**Ms.Frizzle** : In the bed of the truck is orc, quinn, howard and sinder and jezzie

**Ms.Frizzle** : I had to get orc, and when we got there sinder and jezzie had orc dressed up

**Ms.Frizzle** : In a SUit, and he was lookin good like??? It fit perfectly

**Too-Smart-For-You** : sam

**Ms.Frizzle** : AND HE WAS SO HAPPY 

**Ms.Frizzle** : All of us including quinn were complientin him and shit and i swear to my grave he was blushing,, HOWA RD gave him a HUG.

**Ms.Frizzle** : My skin is clear, my crops flourish, my grades are in the 130%, the doggos are crying from joy

**Too-Smart-For-You** : I get it Sam. 

**Ms.Frizzle** : DO you hate memes astrid

**Too-Smart-For-You** : yes

**Ms.Frizzle** : We cant be friends astrid

**Too-Smart-For-You** : who is tiredofyou? Shes like on your most conversations thing

**Ms.Frizzle** : oH you mean… give me a min to make a fake name

**Too-Smart-For-You** : of course

**Ms.Frizzle** : Celena,,, yes that’s it

**Ms.Frizzle** : Brb

**Ms.Frizzle** : Okay Im back

**Ms.Frizzle** : Do you know that your name means beautiful goddess

**Ms.Frizzle** : Quinn means wise queen hes dying

**Too-Smart-For-You** : why do i care sam

**Ms.Frizzle** : RUDE

**Ms.Frizzle** : My son’s name means noblemen im so proud. 

**Ms.Frizzle** : hOward means pig g uard im dying

**Too-Smart-For-You** : Sam i asked you about tiredofyou

**Ms.Frizzle** : You want me to ask her out for you

**Too-Smart-For-You** : No, i want to talk to her, 

**Ms.Frizzle** : K

_ tiredofeverythingTM _

**Ms.Frizzle** : Diana you remember Too-Smart-For-You

**tiredofyou** : yeah why

**Ms.Frizzle** : She wants to be friends with you

**Ms.Frizzle** : AND your name means moon goddess, 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Caines’ is hilaourous im dying

**RoyaltyTM** : what does it mean

**Ms.Frizzle** : Tall Person

**RoyaltyTM** : pls tell me your kidding 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Not according to this website

**RoyaltyTM** : why were you searching what my name means

**Ms.Frizzle** : I had to think of a fake name i found this website

**RoyaltyTM** : how far are you out from coates

**Ms.Frizzle** : We’re like half way there\

**RoyaltyTM** : how’s quinn

**Ms.Frizzle** : His name means Wise Queen

**tiredofyou** : guess you found your queen finally napleon

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : guys he collasped and started praying everyone’s really scared

**Ms.Frizzle** : Where are you guys

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : in the middle of science

**Ms.Frizzle** : One thing on my bucket list

**tiredofyou** : what else is on there

**Ms.Frizzle** : try on a dress, swim in austrialia, win a fight, (making caine like one of my memes), convince a little kid that children fall from the sky and the ocean is babies that are waiting for their perfect mommy, and appear as a guest on a tv show

**tiredofyou** : why would you do that to a child, sam

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : what my name mean

**Ms.Frizzle** : SNAKE

**RoyaltyTM** : your name chose your destiny drake

**tiredofyou** : omg

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : DID I TELL YOU GUYS

**RoyaltyTM** : tell us what

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : me and sam r ging on a dat

**tiredofyou** : you are making me lose brain cells, drake

**Ms.Frizzle** : Its not a date

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : yeah it is caine i just had the best idea

**RoyaltyTM** : what 

**tiredofyou** : im terrified

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : double date

**RoyaltyTM** : FUCK TO THE NO

**tiredofyou** : im crying that is the /best/

**RoyaltyTM** : dont encourage him diana

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : dad dont yell at mom

**Ms.Frizzle** : Wha the 

**tiredofyou** : omg we never told you

**RoyaltyTM** : please dont tell sam he’ll tell quinn

**ChainsansWhipsExciteMe** : okay so i started this joke that caine and diana ar my parents since they worry over me so much

**RoyaltyTM** : we weren’t worried we thought you brought a gun to school

**Ms.Frizzle** : Does that mean that caine and quinn are my parents

**tiredofyou** : YES

**Ms.Frizzle** : I’ll tell quinn

_ Please_Don’t_Sam _

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : so we’re sam’s parents

**Ms.Frizzle** : I mean you brought a bag of snacks for me

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : it’s for everyone and you werent complaining when i gave you some apple juice

**RoyaltyTM** : i couldnt stop them telling him

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : change the group chat to sammys family

**RoyaltyTM** : NO

**Ms.Frizzle** : Please dad

**RoyaltyTM** : N OOOO OO

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : does that mean im mom

**Ms.Frizzle** : I mean,,,,,, Papa or pops

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Papa

**RoyaltyTM** : Im NOT changing the name

**Ms.Frizzle** : Please

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : pretty please ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**RoyaltyTM** : How do you do that?

**Ms.Frizzle** : I’ll get quinn one of the overnight passes at coates

**RoyaltyTM** : you have one of those

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : is that why you have your overnight bag

**Ms.Frizzle** : Yes to both

**RoyaltyTM** : …

_ RoyaltyTM changed chatname to Sammys-Family _

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : wait i dont have clothes

**Ms.Frizzle** : You and drake have similar sizes

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : how do you know that

**RoyaltyTM** : Quinn use a lenny face

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : good idea ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : did sam tell you what my name means

_ RoyaltyTM changed chatname to Sammys-Royal-Family _

**Ms.Frizzle** : YES

_ NeedsHelpTbh _

**Ms.Frizzle** : Diana can you make a fake pass for quinn pls

**tiredofyou** : why

**Ms.Frizzle** : Made a deal with Caine

**tiredofyou** : aww, gotcha

**tiredofyou** : hows lana

_ Ms.Frizzle sent the image [look at her arms] _

**tiredofyou** : is that patrick in the corner

**Ms.Frizzle** : YES

**tiredofyou** : youre bringing patrick

**Ms.Frizzle** : Coates allows pets right?

**tiredofyou** : no sam

**Ms.Frizzle** : We’ll sneak him in or have Caine sue them

**tiredofyou** : good plan

**tiredofyou** : fair warning stay away from Mr. Tach hes a perv

**Ms.Frizzle** : Alright, which teachers are watching us again

**tirdeofyou** : nurse rose, mr. tach, mr. g, and mrs. kelley

**Ms.Frizzle** : Auntie ROsie is gonna be there????

**tiredofyou** : auntie rosie?

**Ms.Frizzle** : She’s my godmom, and caine’s i think

**tiredofyou** : ahh, how come she doesnt custody of ya

**Ms.Frizzle** : whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t

**tiredofyou** : what the fuck, Sam/

**Ms.Frizzle** : She has no dna or legal rights to me

**tiredofyou** : alright

**Ms.Frizzle** : Do you have a list

**tiredofyou** : a list of what

**Ms.Frizzle** : A list of people you’d fuck

**tiredofyou** : who doesn’t

**Ms.Frizzle** : I know right

**Ms.Frizzle** : whose on your list

**tiredofyou** : none of your business

**Ms.Frizzle** : we-re at Coates

_ tiredofyou started with a conversation with Too-Smart-For-You _

**tiredofyou** : hey

**tiredofyou** : im sammys friend

**tiredofyou** : you okay

**Too-Smart-For-You** : srry watching my little brother

**tiredofyou** : oh cool how old

**Too-Smart-For-You** : 4 hes a little... energric

**tiredofyou** : wyd besides watching your brother

**Too-Smart-For-You** : watching tv you?

**tiredofyou** ; we got out of school cuz the government is going through the moofs, and sam’s still talking to the nurse’s and doctors

**Too-Smart-For-You** : how are the others

**tiredofyou** : SO quinn is flirting with caine, who is waiting for his turn and by flirting i mean quinn is sitting in Caine’s lap

**Too-Smart-For-You** : omg 

**tiredofyou** : Drake (he is awful at typing and has a huge crush on sam) is waiting and wants to fight orc (sam playing peacemaker again)

**tiredofyou** : orc, sinder, jezzie, and howard are just chillin in the lunchroom (also where were waiting)

**tiredofyou** : lana and patrick are outside enjoying the breeze and sunshine

**Too-Smart-For-You** : how is brianna

**tiredofyou** : the runt trying to kill drake?

**Too-Smart-For-You** : ya

**Too-Smart-For-You** : wait no

**tiredofyou** : im not sam

**Too-Smart-For-You** : reflex okay?

**tiredofyou** : i get that happens to drake when he talks

**Too-Smart-For-You** : i want to see this happen

**tiredofyou** : anyway breeze chick is playing on her phone deathglaring drake

**tiredofyou** : the dekka chick is like swooning and gazing at brianna 

**tiredofyou** : anyone else you know and ---shit

**Too-Smart-For-You** : what’s going on

**Too-Smart-For-You** : whats happening

_ HappyforLife _

**Too-Smart-For-You** : quinn is everything alright

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : holy shit 

**cantbevinced** : whats going on 

**cantbevinced** : is Lana okay????

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : gtg has to make sure he doesnt die

**cantbevinced** : who gonna die

{A FEW HOURS LATER}

**tiredofyou** started a conversation with Too-Smart-For-You

**tiredofyou** : okay so dont interrupt just listen okay??

**Too-Smart-For-You** : alright

**tiredofyou** : so theres this real perv teacher and he was watching over the kids but 

**tiredofyou** : he wasnt really there until later in the day and he started talking to sam 

**tiredofyou** : sam started to look like he was going through a panic attack and he started to cry

**tiredofyou** : Drake runs up and like instantly puts himself between sam and the perv

**tiredofyou** : once drake realizes why sam is crying he goes ballistic almost snaps his whip arm at this asswipe

**tiredofyou** : like i would to but i dont have a tentacle arm, and drake almost kills this guy

**tiredofyou** : Caine holds him back with his mind power so Drake doesnt touch this guy so drake doesnt go to jail

**tiredofyou** : one of the cia or fbi dudes show up and steps inbetween sam and mr. perv

**tiredofyou** : he’s like ‘whats going on here’

**tiredofyou** : and sam looks like hes about to have a seizure

**tiredofyou** : and drake is trying to keep sam from dying and i speak up

**tiredofyou** : ‘mr. perv has been arrested numerous times for pedo-shit but he hasnt been convicted and sam and me have been abused personally but the dean wont do shit about it’

**tiredofyou** : fbi guy looks pissed and he instantly pulls out the cuffs, and im ready to name my child after him

**tiredofyou** : fbi guy pulls mr.perv out of the luchroom and drake takes sam up to my room, (me and sam are on the same therapy group, so we do little get-togethers) later once almost everyone is gone and cooks started dinner 

**tiredofyou** : fbi guy comes back gives his card and says ‘anyone else is doing this shit call me’ and leaves like he was never even there

**tiredofyou** : anyway story over and you can speak

**Too-Smart-For-You** : are you okay, like, do you want some tea or smth?

**tiredofyou** : are you sheldon from the big bang

**Too-Smart-For-You** : is that how you met sam through memes.

**tiredofyou** : yes

**Too-Smart-For-You** : what are you doing now

**tiredofyou** : were watching moana even though curfew is out and boys arent allowed in the girls dorms

**Too-Smart-For-You** : whos we

**tiredofyou** : me, sam, mary jane, caine, drake, quinn and patrick

**Too-Smart-For-You** : is mary jane her real name or

**tiredofyou** : its fake but until i get her permission to talk to others about her situation i got Sam’s permission to talk about this,

**tiredofyou** : sam is singing along to We Know the Way its adorable???

**Too-Smart-For-You** : PROOF

_ tiredofyou sent a video [hear the sirens songs] _

**Too-Smart-For-You** : omg

**tiredofyou** : i know right

**Too-Smart-For-You** : so hows the movie

**tiredofyou** : already seen it so i thought i updated things for you

**Too-Smart-For-You** : so whens the group coming back

**tiredofyou** : probably tomorrow noon why

**Too-Smart-For-You** : do you want met up i mean we live pretty close to each other so why not just meet

**tiredofyou** : sure and it just got to I am Moana

**Too-Smart-For-You** : thats sam’s favorite

_ tiredofyou sent the video [hear his voice] _

**Too-Smart-For-You** : aww well i gtg bye 

**tiredofyou** : bye

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha long so tired


	6. Take This Shitpost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> man im sorry for being late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school has been killing me.

_ Ms.Frizzle added SurferAndFisher-Boii, RoyaltyTM, onyourleftboii, and ChainsandWhipsExciteMe into a chat _

_ Ms.Frizzle named the chat MEMESASSEMBLE _

**RoyaltyTM** : NO

**onyourleftboii** : YES

_ Ms.Frizzle added boozeTM, $cammin, and Rich_Bitch to the chat _

**onyourleftboii** : why them, like i get orc, but?

**$cammin** : excuse u

**$cammin** : like what did i do to deserve this

**Ms.Frizzle** : Did you not read the chat name

**$cammin** : why, why this 

**Ms.Frizzle** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Rich_Bitch** : how do you do that

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : dont you own this app?

**Rich_Bitch** : yeah but 

**$cammin** : oh no baby what is you doing?

**RoyaltyTM** : HOW DO YOU TURN OFF NOTIFACTIONS

**boozeTM** : cash me outside howbow dat

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : cane is lit dying it amazin

**onyourleftboii** : what

**Ms.Frizzle** : *Caine is literally dying it is amazing

**boozeTM** : o 

**$cammin** : orc you typed that perfectly how

**boozeTM** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Rich_Bitch** : how did you do that

**Ms.Frizzle** : *x-files theme*

**RoyaltyTM** : this is my personal hell

_ Ms.Frizzle started a conversation with Rich_Bitch _

**Ms.Frizzle** : So im just gonna say it 

**Ms.Frizzle** : How did you get mcdonald’s 

**Rich_Bitch** : Alright, so my dad got me a job working at BurgerKing

**Ms.Frizzle** : Okay

**Rich_Bitch** : the Manager like had a fancy rich white dude poker night and he let me tag along for some reason

**Rich_Bitch** : I win and I win McDonald’s so Im now the CEO of Mikey D’s

**Ms.Frizzle** : quick question 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Can i run the twitter

**Rich_Bitch** : why the fuck not

**Ms.Frizzle** : YES!

_ <@MickeyD what do I get at Arby's> _

_ <RUN JUST RUN> _

_ <When did McDonald's get cool> _

_ <Since they let the MemeMasterTM run this bumper car> _

_ <OMG bumpercar> _

_ <Is this Sam> _

_ <@NewNapleon no this is Patrick> _

_ <@MickeyD I'm coming and I'm coming for you> _

_ <and I won't stop coming til I hit the ground running> _

_ <He is actually screeching I hear him> _

_ <@ATTLEII @NewNapleon is a cyptrid if you hear him run run to McDonald's You'll be safe I promise> _

_ <IF YOU MAKE ME A MEME I WILL FIND YOU @MickeyD> _

_ <@NewNapleon too bad> _

_ <I'll send drake after you> _

_ <DO IT> _

_ MEMESASSEMBLE _

**Ms.Frizzle** : Helps 

**boozeTM** : what going on

**RoyaltyTM** : Sam i am goign to kill you 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : try it bitch

**Rich_Bitch** : what have i done 

**RoyaltyTM** : YOU DID THIS

**Rich_Bitch** : i can explain

**Rich_Bitch** : he asked nicely

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : what’s going on

**Ms.Frizzle** : I made Caine a meme

**onyourleftboii** : when wasn’t he meme

**RoyaltyTM** : excuse you

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : his yellow sweatervest

**onyourleftboii** : the one thing i agree with drake on 

**Ms.Frizzle** : I mean on an international level

**Ms.Frizzle** : Did you know his twitter name is NewNapleon

**$cammin** : omg 


	7. Damn Back at it Again with Long Chapters

_ Ms.Frizzle added BRUISESANDBITEMARKS, Bleeding_Violets, i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now, Black_Roses, and goldengirl into a group chat.  _

**Ms.Frizzle** : Okay so listen real quick

**Ms.Frizzle** : The school wants me ‘the schoolbus hero’ to start a club for some bs reason

**Ms.Frizzle** : And i thought ‘well they want a club started by the ‘hero’ maybe a hero club that goes around and plants flowers, go to nursery homes,and other good deeds and I thought of you five? Let me count

**Ms.Frizzle** : Yeah it five 

**Bleeding_Violets** : Invite *handclap emoji* Orc *handclap emoji*

**Ms.Frizzle** : Fuck that’s a good idea

_ Ms.Frizzle invited boozeTM into the groupchat _

**boozeTM** : wht’s ging n?

**Black_Roses** : scroll up

**boozeTM** : SINDER!!!!!!

**Bleeding_Violets** : hey

**boozeTM** : JEZZIE!!!!!!

**goldengirl** : sam introduce everyone now

**Ms.Frizzle** : Well orc jezzie and sinder just did and everyone is capable of doing so but do you want to do a hero club bs w/me or not?

**goldengirl** : ugh, im taylor

**goldengirl** : who yes is actually gold from the radiation

**BRUISESANDBITEMARKS** :  im dahra and mary’s little shit of a brother choose that name cuz i got a hickey from mary once 

**i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now:** im mary and darha gf

**Ms.Frizzle** : Best name ever but i still need to know are yall gonna join or nah?

**goldengirl** : sure why tf not

**boozeTM** : ye

**Bleeding_Violets** : sure

**Black_Roses** : k

**BRUISESANDBITEMARKS** : SURE

**i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : alright 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Great now the chat name

**goldengirl** : SAM’S HAREM

**Bleeding_Violets** : lmao yes pls

**Ms.Frizzle** : Everyone cool with it?

**BRUISESANDBITEMARKS** : yeah

**i’ve_adopted_all_you_heathens_now** : k

**Black_Roses** : do *HANDCLAPS EMOJI* it

**boozeTM** : kay m dtin smne bu k

**Ms.Frizzle** : Who are you dating

_ Ms.Frizzle changed the chat name to SAM’S HAREM _

**goldengirl** : you understood that?

**Bleeding_Violets** : dont’ be mean to orc

**boozeTM** : Howrd

**Ms.Frizzle** : FUCKING CALLED IT

_ MEMESASSEMBLE _

**Ms.Frizzle** : I have some tea to spill hun-ey

**onyourleft,boii** : spill it

**RoyaltyTM** : no don’t 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Howard and orc are dating

**$cammin** : why did orc tell you

**Ms.Frizzle** : Cus i replaced you

**$cammin** : what

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : what

**boozeTM** : haha

**boozeTM** : dnt lie samy

**Ms.Frizzle** : Also Mary and Dahra is dating 

**Rich_Bitch** : good for them

**RoyaltyTM** : I am going to reiterate

**RoyaltyTM** : HOW DO YOU TURN OFF NOTIFICATIONS

**Ms.Frizzle** : Rude

**$cammin** : ya caine are you homophobe

**Ms.Frizzle** : Nyall

**RoyaltyTM** : what no im pan i like boys

**RoyaltyTM** : i just would dont like be up AT THREE IN THE GODDAMN MORNING 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Caine finally crursed lkdafjkld;jsfkljkdjf im dying

**$cammin** : since when did you like boys

**RoyaltyTM** : since i was born

**onyourleft,boii** : omg are you dating anyone?

**Ms.Frizzle** : Quinn was literaly sitting on his lap during the checkups

**boozeTM** : quin?

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : thy bn datin 4 lik 6 moths

**Rich_Bitch** : 6 moths jfc learn to type

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : orc wrte wos thn me

**onyourleft,boii** : no he doesnt

**Ms.Frizzle** : *MORTAL COMBAT VOICE* fight!

**RoyaltyTM** : NO

**RoyaltyTM** : I am not in mood to deal with this

**RoyaltyTM** : ALBert how do you block people on this

**Rich_Bitch** : I don’t know tbt

**Rich_Bitch** : ask sam

**RoyaltyTM** : YOU OWN THE FUCKING APP

**Ms.Frizzle** : Haha

**RoyaltyTM** : I am telling your ‘papa’

**Ms.Frizzle** : shit no

**onyourleft,boii** : wtf

_ Sammys-Royal-Family _

**RoyaltyTM** : Quinn

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : yes?

**RoyaltyTM** : your fucking son is driving me up the goddamn wall

**Ms.Frizzle** : He’s lying!

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : start at the beginning

**RoyaltyTM** : First he puts me a meme group chat with brianna and albert, and drake,a nd orc and howard

**RoyaltyTM** : then he calls me out on twitter and makes me a meme on there likek a little asshat

**RoyaltyTM** : and he wakes me up at fucking three to here about how kids who i dont; know or care about are dating

**RoyaltyTM** : then he starts afuking figt on the ficnking meme chat

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : okay first caine calm down i can barely understand what you wrote

**Ms.Frizzle** : I didn’t understand any of that

**Ms.Frizzle** : That must means hes lying

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : sam be quiet or youre grounded

**Ms.Frizzle** : Caine you know you can mute the chat right?

**RoyaltyTM** : WHAT 

**RoyaltyTM** : HOW

**Ms.Frizzle** : Okay so in the chat in the top right corner theres a little star click it

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : he means tap it 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Did i fucking stutter

**RoyaltyTM** : dont’ be mean to your papa

**RoyaltyTM** : and i saw the mute button im crying

_ RoyaltyTM sent the image [so fucking happy] _

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : you actually are crying are you okay

**RoyaltyTM** : so much better gtg good night ily 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : WAIt

**Ms.Frizzle** : Is he talking to me or you 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : idk but its me than im pissed

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Caine look at your phone

**Ms.Frizzle** : Mute mode stops the phone from flashing on and junk

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : ugh

_ NeedsHelpTbh _

**gunsandcigarettes** : its literally been years since we’ve talked

**tiredofyou** : really literally

**Ms.Frizzle** : Guess what

**tiredofyou** : what

**Ms.Frizzle** : I showed caine the mute button

**Ms.Frizzle** : Then he said i love you to either me or quinn

**tiredofyou** : WHAT

**tiredofyou** : WHAT

**Ms.Frizzle** : He also cursed 

_ Ms.Frizzle sent the image [lol the language he preaches about] _

**tiredofyou** : AND I FUCKING MISSED IT

**gunsandcigarettes** : omfg this is amazing

**gunsandcigarettes** : btw diana when are you gonna go meet Astrid 

**tiredofyou** : tomorrow after school why?

**gunsandcigarettes** : where

**tiredofyou** : the beach why

**gunsandcigarettes** : dont invite draek or caien

**Ms.Frizzle** : Draek and caien lol thats their new names now

**tiredofyou** : why

**gunsandcigarettes** : because the beach is where sam and quinn surf after school

**gunsandcigarettes** : shirtless 

**gunsandcigarettes** : and you two are going to that smoothie place i work right?

**tiredofyou** : yeah

**gunsandcigarettes** : i dont want those two to get boners from the surfer bffs 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Draek the snaek

**tiredofyou** : i feel like if drake knew about your memer side he wouldn’t like you anymore

**Ms.Frizzle** : Only one way to find out

_ tiredofeverythingTM _

**Ms.Frizzle** : Do you know about the #bowwowchallenge

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : ofc

**Ms.Frizzle** : Fav meme go

_ ChainsandWhipsExciteMe sent the image [NUT] _

**Ms.Frizzle** : The nut button hah classic

**tiredofyou** : sam mute button where

**Ms.Frizzle** : The star in the right corner

**tiredofyou** : thanks

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : do u lit knw evythng abot this app

**Ms.Frizzle** : Yup

**Ms.Frizzle** : Night 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : nite <3

**Ms.Frizzle** : NO

_ Sammys-Royal-Family _

**RoyaltyTM** : i didnt even realize i typed that 

**RoyaltyTM** : but like private conversation after school quinn?

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : alright

_ HappyForLife _

**cantbevinced** : alright so lets revamp whose dating who

**Ms.Frizzle** : Quinn and Caine are dating (honestly if i ever catch them kissing im gonna burn down coates)

**PureTM** : Roger and me are dating, and his art auction is tonight so I’m turning my phone off at 4:30 p.m.

**Ms.Frizzle** : Gotcha, you and lana are dating and working together at the smoothie place

**cantbevinced** : WE MET THERE HONESTLY BEST ROMANCE STORY EVER

**Ms.Frizzle** : Beats the fault in our stars 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : and Twilight

**Too-Smart-For-You** : and Everything Everything

**Ms.Frizzle** : Haha Astrid out here throwing book shade

**Too-Smart-For-You** : Im the only one allowed to 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Diana and Astrid;s dating

**cantbevinced** : writing that down

**Too-Smart-For-You** : we are not dating

**Ms.Frizzle** : No capitals means hiding bs 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Sam and drake 

**Ms.Frizzle** : LIES AND SLANDER

**PureTM** : Calm down, Sam. 

**Ms.Frizzle** : THey’re spreading lies about me

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : i cant think of any one else

**Ms.Frizzle** : Orc and howard,,, mary and dahra

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : honestly Mary and Dahra is the purest ship

**Ms.Frizzle** : Edilio and Roger

**cantbevinced** : lol tru

**Ms.Frizzle** : Edilio howd ya meet Roger

**Ms.Frizzle** : Yaint

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : sam you said that

**Ms.Frizzle** : Did i fucking stutter

**PureTM** : I was doing community work at a park, and Roger was hired to do a mural.

**PureTM** : The park had picnics it was fun.

**cantbevinced** : adordable

**Ms.Frizzle** : Pics or it didnt happen

_ PureTM sent the image [Water Balloon Fight] _

**cantbevinced** : adordable

**PureTM** : School is starting, go to class. 

_ RoyaltyTM started a conversation with SurferAndFisher-Boii _

**RoyaltyTM** : do you have time to talk

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : yeah

**RoyaltyTM** : so are you mad that i said that or

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : its the fact that its over phone 

**RoyaltyTM** : we can pretend i didn’t send it i think i can delete my messages

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : sam is the only one who knows how 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : i once spent three hours searching online to see how to change my name

**RoyaltyTM** : ugh

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : plus he takes like thirty screenshots so 

**RoyaltyTM** : we can pretend that i deleted it 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : it’s okay

**RoyaltyTM** : no its not youre upset

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : It’s just that

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : i didnt want the first time you said that on the phone

**RoyaltyTM** : aww that’s really sweet 

**RoyaltyTM** : im sorry 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : lets just pretend you never said that

**RoyaltyTM** : or I said it to sammy

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : latter

**RoyaltyTM** : k

_ Ms.Frizzle added SurferAndFisher-Boii, RoyaltyTM, ChainsandWhipsExciteMe, and gunsandcigarettes into a group chat. _

**Ms.Frizzle** : Everyone shut up

_ Ms.Frizzle changed the chat name to #LetTheShipSail _

**RoyaltyTM** : samuel explain

**Ms.Frizzle** : First thats not my name

**Ms.Frizzle** : Second im spying on astrid and diana;s date

**RoyaltyTM** : SAm no

**Ms.Frizzle** : Quinn and lana youre helping me

**Ms.Frizzle** : you and draek are taking notes

**gunsandcigarettes** : add sanj

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : why

**gunsandcigarettes** : cuz im not going to be the only single

**Ms.Frizzle** : Me and drake is single

_ gunsandcigarettes sent the image [sure,jan] _

**RoyaltyTM** : just do it

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : yur not gona fgt it?

**Ms.Frizzle** : Okay mr. shia labeouf

_ Ms.Frizzle added cantbevinced into #LetTheShipSail _

**RoyaltyTM** : listen if sam wanted to set the world on fire he’ll do it no matter i or anyone says

**cantbevinced** : whats going on

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : scroll up

**cantbevinced** : what do i do

**Ms.Frizzle** : Are you working  today?

**cantbevinced** : no and why is no one getting on sam for his grammar

**Ms.Frizzle** : I have done nothing wrong

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : i know this and i love you

**RoyaltyTM** : what 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : lol

**cantbevinced** : ‘me and drake is single’ Drake and I are single.

**gunsandcigarettes** : sanj you realize no one cares 

**cantbevinced** : rued

**Ms.Frizzle** : Rued

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : rued at 7:16 pm

**RoyaltyTM** : i rued the day i met you

**Ms.Frizzle** : Ayyyyyyyyyyy lmao

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : ayyyyyyyyyy

**cantbevinced** : gdi

**gunsandcigarettes** : stop or i’ll bring discourse here

**Ms.Frizzle** : The Discourse

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : The DiscourseTM

**RoyaltyTM** : i regert everything 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Regert

**RoyaltyTM** : stop sam

**Gunsandcigarettes** : sam how many chats do you have

**Ms.Frizzle** : Back to the topic

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : answer the fucking question

**Ms.Frizzle** : gdi

**Ms.Frizzle** : 9 

**RoyaltyTM** : what the frick

**Ms.Frizzle** : Okay you cursed me out yesterday 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : what

**Ms.Frizzle** : #Letcainesayfuck2k17

**RoyaltyTM** : dont you dare bring that back

<#LetCaineSayFuck2k17>

**RoyaltyTM** : I’m disowning you

**Ms.Frizzle** : Are you following MickeyD

**RoyaltyTM** : only to know when your doing something stupid

**cantbevinced** : *you’re

**gunsandcigarettes** : back to the topic

**cantbevinced** : ya what im doing

**Ms.Frizzle** : Yalldve

**cantbevinced** : dammit

**Ms.Frizzle** : Notetaking for you sanj

**cantbevinced** : k

**Ms.Frizzle** : Okay they just got here

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Astrid is wearing her nice cargo pants

**Ms.Frizzle** : Are they cargo pants

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : i think i dont know fashion

**Ms.Frizzle** : Neither does Caine

**gunsandcigarettes** : hello 911 i would like to report a fucking murder

**RoyaltyTM** : excuse you

**cantbevinced** : Notes; 1) Sam is savage af

**gunsandcigarettes** : Diana is wearing her red top with the lacy straps

**RoyaltyTM** : that means she wants to sit outside

**RoyaltyTM** : to tan

**Ms.Frizzle** : write that down sanj

**cantbevinced** : 2) Diana has nice fashion taste

**cantbevinced** : 3) diana wants to burned alive by the sun

**Ms.Frizzle** : The sun is a deadly lazer

**Ms.Frizzle** : Alright cookie has them in his section shit

**gunsandcigarettes** : i can asked to trade him 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Pls

**RoyaltyTM** : how come you never say pls to me

**Ms.Frizzle** : because i can bribe you

**RoyaltyTM** : got me there

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : they’re laughing at something on astrid’s phone

**Ms.Frizzle** : i sent her one of those medival memes 

**Ms.Frizzle** : ‘runeth up bitch thou doesntth want these hands.’

**cantbevinced** : 4) sam has great meme taste suited for different people

**cantbevinced** : 5) astriana has the same sense of humor

**Ms.Frizzle** : 10/1 great ship name

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : dont you mean 10/10

**Ms.Frizzle** : Did i fucking stutter

**RoyaltyTM** : how is diana’s posture 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Astrid can def see her boobs

**RoyaltyTM** : SAMUEL

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : youre grounded

**gunsandcigarettes** : Diana is leaning forward and her head is on her hand

**Ms.Frizzle** : It’s more like her chin is on her hand

**Ms.Frizzle** : The nonpalm part of her hand

**RoyaltyTM** : yeah Diana wants to date Astrid

**cantbevinced** : 6) Astrid is not gonna be a virgin tomorrow

**Ms.Frizzle** : Hah

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : you acutally laughed out loud 

**Ms.Frizzle** : It’s funny

**gunsandcigarettes** : so Cookie wouldnt trade with me but he told me they ordered a strawberry-mint smoothie and a mango-bannana smoothie

**RoyaltyTM** : Diana’s allegirc to strawberries

**Ms.Frizzle** : sanj notes

**cantbevinced** : 7) they ordered captialism

**cantbevicned** : 8) no chocolate covered strawberries

**Ms.Frizzle** : good or evil virus of satan?

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : quote of the century

**RoyaltyTM** : stop

**gunsandcigarettes** : okay Cookie gave em the smoothies in to-go cups shit theyre leaving 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : we cant follow em

**Ms.Frizzle** : not all of us

**gunsandcigarettes** : sam get your butt back here

**Ms.Frizzle** : #LetLanaSayAss2k17

**Ms.Frizzle** : MUTE MODE 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Have fun smelling my poop bitches

**RoyaltyTM** : what

**cantbevinced** : 9) sam likes grown men playing with barbies

_ Ms.Frizzle added tiredofyou and Too-Smart-For-You into a group chat _

_ Ms.Frizzle named the chat #Pranked _

**tiredofyou** : no

**Ms.Frizzle** : Ugh

_ Ms.Frizzle changed the chat name to Most_Popular_Girls_in_School _

**Too-Smart-For-You** : okay

_ Ms.Frizzle sent the images [receipt 1], [receipt 2], [receipt 3], [receipt 4], and [receipt 5] _

**tiredofyou** : great job spy

**Ms.Frizzle** : Im not a spy 

**tiredofyou** : well do you know what they call people who spy

**tiredofyou** : spies

**Ms.Frizzle** : Woo bars but im not a 

**Too-Smart-For-You** : please stop 

**Ms.Frizzle** : The vines over now 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Astriana

**tiredofyou** : no

**Ms.Frizzle** : Too late

**Too-Smart-For-You** : okay but i call deandra 

**Ms.Frizzle** : I CALL TRISHA

**tiredofyou** : i call brittney mathews

**Too-Smart-For-You** : whose Mackenzie zales

**Ms.Frizzle** : Caine

**tiredofyou** : yes

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is fucking 15 pages im dead
> 
> Totally pathetic, unreliable.  
> Known throughout the world for being super weak.
> 
> Maybe in ancient times, it was really strong.  
> That's what the rumors say, but they're probably wrong.  
> But now it's so weak, the weakest in the land.  
> So weak that it's sad, really really sad.
> 
> The weak Pokémon, that's you, Magikarp.  
> But though you are the weakest, still you've won my heart.  
> Oh, weak Pokémon, my love for you is strong.  
> Honestly, it's magical, you've survived this long.
> 
> All it does is jump and splash, jump and splash around.  
> It splashes up whole mountains and all the way back down.
> 
> Why jump? What's the point when nobody cares?  
> It uses Splash in battle. Nothing happens.  
> Jumping and splashing every single day.  
> Until Pidgeotto… carries it away.
> 
> The jumping Pokémon, that's you, Magikarp.  
> Although your moves are pointless, still you've won my heart.  
> Oh, splashing Pokémon, my love for you is strong.  
> Honestly, it's magical, you've survived this long.
> 
> Wherever you go fishing, it's the first you'll catch.  
> Even with an Old Rod, you'll soon have quite a batch.
> 
> Cast off in a river, or a puddle, or the sea.  
> Anywhere your hook is, Magikarp will be.  
> The slightest current will carry it away.  
> Anyplace the river bends… that's where they all stay.
> 
> A nibble on the line… that's you, Magikarp.  
> Right back in you go, because you've won my heart.  
> Thought I caught a bite… but it's Magikarp.  
> I could never eat you… because you've won my heart.
> 
> Its Shiny form sparkles golden in the light.  
> But don't be deceived. It's still Magikarp inside.
> 
> Evolving into Gyarados makes it super strong.  
> Waiting to reach that level takes way too long.  
> Did you just buy one at the store yesterday?  
> Sorry, there's no refunds. Please go away.
> 
> The pity Pokémon, that's you, Magikarp.  
> Although they think you're worthless… still you've won my heart.  
> The pity Pokémon, Magikarp, it's true.  
> At least your lowly ranking… means nothing to you.
> 
> Beloved Pokémon, that's you, Magikarp.  
> Somehow you've turned weakness into a kind of art.  
> You're my Pokémon, Magikarp, my dream…  
> Six matching Magikarp, that'll be my team.
> 
> Beloved Pokémon, that's you, Magikarp.  
> Magical and special, of course you've won my heart  
> The greatest Pokémon, Magikarp, it's true.  
> And that's why I've written this love song just for you!
> 
> Can you guess my new fav game?


	8. Batman Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> batman vs superman

_ AmazingMoofs _

**Ms.Frizzle** : Okay so me caine and quinn is watching ~The Batman~ and we got into a dabate

**onyourleft,boii:** pls tell me its batman vs superman debate

**onyourleft,boii** : because i have like a conspiracy theory about that 

**Ms.Frizzle** : No but we can talk about that privately 

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : which batman series

**Ms.Frizzle** : ~The Batman~ 2007 i think

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : k continue 

**onyourleft,boii** : i love the art direction in that one

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : i love catwoman

**Ms.Frizzle** : Same but id think i date bruce or dick

**Ms.Frizzle** : We’re still on season one and alfred is so sassy and good pure 

**boozeTM** : hve u seen damian wayne fav

**onyourleft,boii** : whose damian wayne

**boozeTM** : bruces only blod son

**boozeTM** : he was trind to be a assanin and kilt peple at 3 yers old

**boozeTM** : he also died

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : like Jason Todd

**Ms.Frizzle** : First we dont talk about either of my sons deaths

**Ms.Frizzle** : Secondly have you seen supersons? I love jon

**onyourleft,boii** : whose jon and whats supersons

**Ms.Frizzle** : DC released a comic of superman son, Jon, and Damian fighting together like the good pure boys they are

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : can we get back to the debate sam

**Ms.Frizzle** : Alright who is your fav batman villian

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : thats not a debate

**onyourleft,boii** : penguin, he somehow reminds me of jack

**Ms.Frizzle** : H elp

**boozeTM** : clayface his bakstry so sad

**Ms.Frizzle** : TRU i love my clayface son

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : poison ivy, i would marry her if she wasnt already married to harley

**Ms.Frizzle** : I want harley to go back to school and live her life as a shrink she deserves peace in the world

**onyourleft,boii** : tru

**onyourleft,boii** : whose your fav sam

**Ms.Frizzle** : First none can judge me but god himself

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : o  kay

**Ms.Frizzle** : Secondly its a three way tie

**Ms.Frizzle** : Thirdly no one can judge me

**onyourleft,boii** : tell me now

**Ms.Frizzle** : Okay Babydoll, she just so hhhhhhhn

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : explain

**Ms.Frizzle** : Her medical condition doesnt allow her to pyshically age so she looks like a six year old girl

**Ms.Frizzle** : She couldnt become an actoress like she wanted because no one took her seriously 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Villians, too, and her boyfriend couldnt respect her like the consenting adult she is 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Secondly is mr. freeze, beacuse the ~The Batman~ version of him is hot

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : s AM

**Ms.Frizzle** : And once on his wedding anniversary it wasnt going to snow and since his dead wife loved the snow he broke out of Arkham Asylum  to make it snow for her

**Ms.Frizzle** : His wedding anniversary is on chirstmas eve btw

**onyourleft,boii** : thats so sad omg i love him and his sweet heart 

**onyourleft,boii** : no one deserves him 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Lastly my sweet sweet 

**Ms.Frizzle** : …..

**onyourleft,boii** : SAM NO SUSPENSE I WILL FITE YOU

**Ms.Frizzle** : Manbat 

**onyourleft,boii** : thats not a real villian

**onyourleft,boii** : holy shit it is what???????

**onyourleft,boii** : hes so scary omg why sam

**Ms.Frizzle** : I was kidding but Caine loves him

**Ms.Frizzle** : I love Two-Face hes so cute

**onyourleft,boii** : first why does caine like him

**onyourleft,boii** : second two-face aint cute

**Ms.Frizzle** : Fite me right now brianna

**Ms.Frizzle** : I’d willingly marry Harvey Dent 

**Ms.Frizzle** : He was a lawyer who had suppressed mental disorders, i think one was bipolar disorder 

**Ms.Frizzle** : He was working alongside batman, and jim gordon to rid gothams streets of mob bosses

**Ms.Frizzle** : And one of the mob bosses hired another lawyer to throw acid on harvey

**Ms.Frizzle** : Which brought out his mental disorders, and disfigured him 

**Ms.Frizzle** : He became obsessed with ideals of right vs wrong 

**Ms.Frizzle** : He never makes a decision without consulting his two-sided coin which also got disfigured from the acid

**Ms.Frizzle** : His mental disorders had killed Harvey Dent and only Two-Face survives now

**Ms.Frizzle** : So 

**Ms.Frizzle** : I WILL FIGHT AND DESTROY ANYONE WHO BACKMOUTHS MY HARVEY DENT SON

**onyourleft,boii** : sam check your email

**Ms.Frizzle** : SCREAMS NO WHY WHYW HWYWHYW HWYW WHDSLKJDKLSSHFSSD:JLKLSDJLK:SDJKLLJS

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : sam chill

_ tiredofeverythingTM _

Ms.Frizzle: mY BATMAN WOULD NEVER

**RoyaltyTM** : sam get off your phone

**tiredofyou** : what are you talking about

**RoyaltyTM** : we’re watching ~The Batman~ from 2007 and Batman just took away a mental ill man’s puppet that he thinks is real and says its therapy

**tiredofyou** : #notmybatman

**tiredofyou** : also did ya all hear that next week from friday is another checkup 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Yall

**Ms.Frizzle** : Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Diana whose your favorite batman villian

**tiredofyou** : tell me yours

**Ms.Frizzle** : mines a tie between Babydoll, Mr. Freeze, and Two-Face

**tiredofyou** : nice

**tiredofyou** : probs Harley shes so sweet and tragic

**RoyaltyTM** : tru mines ManBat

**tiredofyou** : pls tell me caines kidding

**Ms.Frizzle** : joker is so ugly in this version but i still think it fits 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : joker is my favorite 

**tiredofyou** : that doesnt suprise me at all

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : he dosent have any tragic backstory that excuses him which is the best

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : not everyvillian needs a tragic backstory

**Ms.Frizzle** : or hero 

**RoyaltyTM** : whose the better hero batman vs superman

**Ms.Frizzle** : BATMAN

**tiredofyou** : batman

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : batman

**RoyaltyTM** : batman thank you all for agreeing 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Quinn agrees too so great 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : sam make a seprate chat with quinn already

**Ms.Frizzle** : K

**RoyaltyTM** : Sam no

_ Ms.Frizzle added SurferAndFisher-Boii, RoyaltyTM, tiredofyou, and ChainsandWhipsExciteMe into a groupchat. _

_ Ms.Frizzle changed the name to LetUsBeTumblr _

**tiredofyou** : add astrid

_ Ms.Frizzle added Too-Smart-For-You into the chat. _

**Too-Smart-For-You** : what exactly are we gonna be tumblr about

**Ms.Frizzle** : Fav batman villian

**Too-Smart-For-You** : i really like the killer croc idk why i just do

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : bane 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Would you leave caine for bane

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : yes

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : it rhymes

**RoyaltyTM** : batman vs superman

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : batman

**Too-Smart-For-You** : superman

**Ms.Frizzle** : Blocked

**Too-Smart-For-You** : relax will you

**tiredofyou** : im leaving you astrid 

_ Ms.Frizzle changed the chatname to The DiscourseTM _

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Sam yes

**RoyaltyTM** : sam no 

**RoyaltyTM** : how did you know i was gonnna say that

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : you always say that to anything sam does

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : and i always respond with sam yes

**Ms.Frizzle** : Caines pouting 

**tiredofyou** : send pictures

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : SEND PICTURES

**Too-Smart-For-You** : no dont 

_ Ms.Frizzle sent the image [quinn trying to cheer him up] _

**tiredofyou** : adorable 

**tiredofyou** : sam ill fistfight you for the spot of best man at their wedding

**Ms.Frizzle** : Then i get maid of honor

**tiredofyou** : yes

**RoyaltyTM** : Stop talking like we’re getting married tomorrow

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : its next week

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : cn i be the one drunk guy who gets kicked out

**tiredofyou** : yes

**RoyaltyTM** : please

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : rude

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : rood

**Ms.Frizzle** : rdla

**Ms.Frizzle** : Caine fucking sat on me 

**RoyaltyTM** : i saw you typing it sam i wasnt taking any chance

**Ms.Frizzle** : GET OFF OF ME YOU MOLDY POPTART

**tiredofyou** : moldy poptart im ??????

**tiredofyou** : im telling lana

_ NeedsHelpTbh _

**tiredofyou** : sam called caine a moldypoptart

**Ms.Frizzle** : Diana youre such a filthy homestuck 

**tiredofyou** : hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

**gunsandcigarettes** : sam what is wrong with you

**Ms.Frizzle** : the police found my dad and he hasn’t responded to the calls the police left so im anxious 

**tiredofyou** : Caine didnt tell me that stale piece of bread 

**Ms.Frizzle** : caine is such an egg

**gunsandcigarettes** : sanjit is dying guys please stop 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Sanj is the next egg

**gunsandcigarettes** : elp me

**gunsandcigarettes** : diana help

**tiredofyou** : whens our next meeting gonna be 

**gunsandcigarettes** : tomorrow at sams for doing this to me

**Ms.Frizzle** : K

**Ms.Frizzle** : Batman vs superman lana go 

**gunsandcigarettes** : both me and sanj say bats

**tiredofyou** : good 

**Ms.Frizzle** : fav batman villian go 

**gunsandcigarettes** : catwoman and sanj’s jason todd 

**Ms.Frizzle** : meet me in the pit mf 

_ HappyforLife _

**Ms.Frizzle** : meet me in the pit sanj

**Ms.Frizzle** : now

**Too-Smart-For-You** : sam whats the matter

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : your face is so red dude are you okay

Ms.Frizzle: meet me in the pit MEET ME IN THE PIT

**PureTM** : What’s going on?

**cantbevinced** : i did nothing wrong

**Ms.Frizzle** : jason todd is not a villian fite me now

**Too-Smart-For-You** : really wow

**Too-Smart-For-You** : quinn take away sams phone pls

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : fight me sanj

**Too-Smart-For-You** : gdi

**PureTM** : Please explain to me.

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : we’re watching batman and we started talking about villians and sanj is wrong bye

**cantbevinced** : how can i be wrong if you google batman villians list he pops up

**Ms.Frizzle** : hes too good for that

_ InnocentExceptQuinn _

**Ms.Frizzle** : batman vs superman go 

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : batman obvs

**PureTM** : The Batman.

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : fav batman villian

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : crazy quilt 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

**PureTM** : Clayface. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please no discourse in the comments please


	9. Sam Drags Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sex, drugs, and exs, oh yay

_ TheDiscourseTM _

**Ms.Frizzle** : So, there’s gonna be a pride assembly at school and i cant wait for the school to fuck up

**tiredofyou** : text me as things are going down please

**RoyaltyTM** : why are they having an assembly

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : there’s a new kid coming thats openly gay and they think there’s not already out kids at school,, me and Edilio are thinking about wearing pride shirts 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : mine says ‘Bi Bi Bi Boy’ 

**tiredofyou** : do it 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Edilio’s says ‘Secret Gaygent’

**tiredofyou** : i like that one, i have have one that sam got me that says ‘bi and hella kawaii’

**Ms.Frizzle** : I got caine one that says ‘my anaconda loves all kind of buns’ with pink, blue, yellow

**RoyaltyTM** : i didnt’ want a shirt 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : too bad

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : do i get a tshirt

**tiredofyou** : wow thats legible howd that happen

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : sam showed me the talk to text feature 

**RoyaltyTM** : the what

**Ms.Frizzle** : you speak in the mircophone in the phone and it transfers it to text

**tiredofyou** : how come youre the only one who knows everything about this app

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : do i get a shirt

**Ms.Frizzle** : I gave it to you yesterday

**Ms.Frizzle** : ‘let me be perfectly queer’

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : oh yeah

**tiredofyou** : 100003948588/10 sam thats great do you have a shirt

**Ms.Frizzle** : I have several 

**RoyaltyTM** : how do you afford that

**Ms.Frizzle** : A few weeks ago your mom came over and was ‘shooked’ by how i lived so she gave a credit card

**Ms.Frizzle** : she said something like ‘my son’s brother shouldn’t live in these conditions but he can’t move in with us because he wasnt raised to be rich’ but nicer

**RoyaltyTM** : WHAT

**Ms.Frizzle** : relax thats not the first they were rude to me

**RoyaltyTM** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN

**Ms.Frizzle** : your dad thinks that i’ll like corrupt you or smthn and your mom thinks im a project it so fun to know that you corrupted me

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Sam how is your self esteem

**Ms.Frizzle** : i’m fine???? Why’d ya ask

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : beacuse if i don’t straight up ask ya you would deny it and play idiot

**tiredofyou** : true

**Ms.Frizzle** : Diana does that too

**tiredofyou** : dont be throwing shade i will drag you down

**Ms.Frizzle** : i have crap on all of my contacts 

**tiredofyou** : prove it

**Ms.Frizzle** : Diana steals drakes beef jerky 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : thats been you i thought it was the speed bitch

**Ms.Frizzle** : Caines been taking diana’s shampoo 

**tiredofyou** : caine wtf

**RoyaltyTM** : yours it nicer than mine 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Drake has been stealing caines phone and sending fake business emails with pictures with the old cat memes

**RoyaltyTM** : DRAKE YOU FUCKER 

**RoyaltyTM** : i thought i been hacked like several times or quinn was doing it 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : whyd do you think itd be me

**RoyaltyTM** : like you took my phone on our dates and sent random emails to random contacts

**tiredofyou** : sam isnt a virgin

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : WHAT 

**Ms.Frizzle** : a handjob isn’t sex diana

**RoyaltyTM** : who replaced my innocent brother

**Ms.Frizzle** : im not innocent 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Who did you give a handjob to?

**Too-Smart-For-You** : and how does diana know?

**Ms.Frizzle** : lol im not telling

**RoyaltyTM** : i forgot you were in this chat

**tiredofyou** : dont be rued to my girlfriend

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : rued 

**tiredofyou** : no

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : ARE WE JSUT GOING TO FUCKING GLOSS OVER THE FACT THAT SAM GAVE SOMEONE A HANDJOB

**Ms.Frizzle** : Drake chill i wasnt forced 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : BUT YOU ARENT DATING ANYONE WHICH MEANS THEY BROKE UP WITH YOU 

**Ms.Frizzle** : It was mutual and we were dating before, and he didn’t use me for sex relax

**Too-Smart-For-You** : I was the only person you dated though???

**Ms.Frizzle** : you’re the only girl ive dated i had a bf before you

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : WHO DID YOU GIVE A HANDJOB TOO

**Ms.Frizzle** : Drake fucking chillax hes not that bad and im not telling any of you because yall tell drake and he’ll kill him 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : not even me? o(╥﹏╥)o

**Ms.Frizzle** : you already know quinn I brought him to your fourth of july

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : OH OH OH SHIT

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : WHO IS QUINN I WILL FIGHT YOU

**RoyaltyTM** : Don’t even try it, merwin.

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : iM SCREAMING

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : you never introduced him as your bf, tho?

**Ms.Frizzle** : we were still dating

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : IS THAT WHY HES SO NICE TO YOU?

**Ms.Frizzle** : yeah, im his favorite (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

**Too-Smart-For-You** : Who is it?

**Ms.Frizzle** : he gave you the shovel talk when we started dating astrid

**Too-Smart-For-You** : YOU GAVE ORC A HANDJOB????????????????

**Ms.Frizzle** : lol yeah it was at howards back to school party in a closet

**RoyaltyTM** : I can hear drake screaming from down the hall help

**tiredofyou** : people are running really fast like it the apolcayse

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Does Howard know?????

**Ms.Frizzle** : Does Caine know about your first bf?

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : DO NOT

**RoyaltyTM** : Wait no tell me sam 

**Ms.Frizzle** : then i tell quinn something you did

**tiredofyou** : drake broke his phone on the wall hes literally about to implode

**Ms.Frizzle** : tell drake to chill or i’ll block him

_ MEMESASSEMBLE _

**RoyaltyTM** : Sam gave orc a handjob 

**$cammin** : WHAT

**boozeTM** : it was at your back-to-school party when we were 15

**Ms.Frizzle** : Caine has a two year old daughter

**Rich_Bitch** : WHAT THE HELL 

**RoyaltyTM** : HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT

**Ms.Frizzle** : Diana told me, duh

**RoyaltyTM** : ofc she would 

**$cammin** : lets get back to the handjob thing 

**Ms.Frizzle** : we dated that summer when school started back up we broke up and that as far as it ever got

**boozeTM** : yeah

**$cammin** : anyone else dating someone else i need to know about?

**$cammin** : AL?

**Rich_Bitch** : Im ace, so no, thx for the shirt btw sam

**Ms.Frizzle** : np

**$cammin** : what shirt?

**Rich_Bitch** : the assembly the schools having for the new kid cux they think no one at school already out, a bunch of us are wearing pride shirts that sam got us

**Ms.Frizzle** : I gave orc yours, 

**boozeTM** : i like ours

**ouyourleft,boii:** youre tying faster than normal orc, everything alright?

**boozeTM** : sam showed me the talk-to-text feature

**Rich_Bitch** : the what

**RoyaltyTM** : how many times do we have to go over this

**RoyaltyTM** : you own the fucking app

**Rich_Bitch** : and?

**RoyaltyTM** : im done with you

**$cammin** : anyway what do our shirts say cuz ive calmed down from the shock of my life

**boozeTM** : your says lets get one thing straight im not

**$cammin** : nice

**boozeTM** : mine says no one told me life was gonna be this gay and sad

**onyourleft,boii:** me

**onyourleft,boii** : but bi

**Rich_Bitch** : youre literally twelve take a nap

**onyourleft,boii** : sam already got me my shirt

**onyourleft,boii** : ‘my sexuality is gay rocks from space’

**Ms.Frizzle** : dekks was ‘gamer girl, gay mer girl’ 

**Rich_Bitch** : how come i have to deal with you people 

**Rich_Bitch** : i dont deserve this

**RoyaltyTM** : that the biggest lie ive ever been told

**Rich_Bitch** : really its not ‘i love you’

**onyourleft,boii** : fucking savage

**Ms.Frizzle** : albert im the only one allowed to drag caine everyone knows this

**RoyaltyTM** : quinn did it once and apologized to sam 

**Rich_Bitch** : but he deserves it

**onyourleft,boii** : and its so easy 

**Ms.Frizzle** : I can ruin your lives just test me

**Rich_Bitch** : ya cant do anything

**Ms.Frizzle** : yalldvent

**Rich_Bitch** ; firstly

**Ms.Frizzle** : Albert steals all of howards doritos, and he leaves toothpaste instead

**Ms.Frizzle** : he had a emo phase in his last school, i got debra to send me pictures,

**Ms.Frizzle** : Albert started to cry when the school announced the were going to start selling chicken nuggets

**Ms.Frizzle** : Albert wrote on his secert twitter post the he ‘unironically fuck ronald mcdonald only if wendy was in the room watching’

**Rich_Bitch** : stop now

**RoyaltyTM** : i cnat fucking breathe

**Rich_Bitch** : please im beggin you stop 

**Ms.Frizzle** : i can drag someone else if you want

**onyourleft,boii** : please

**Ms.Frizzle** : brianna has a secert fanfiction dedicated to brendon urie 

**onyourleft,boii** : NO SAM STOP 

**Ms.Frizzle** : she also has an entire tumblr for discourse on tumblr

**Ms.Frizzle** : Brianna is in love with the oogie boogie man from the nightmare before christmas

**Rich_Bitch** : wtf bri

**onyourleft,boii:** i dont have to explain myself to you

**Ms.Frizzle:** she set a fire to the park and blamed it on a rooster and everyone fucking believe her

**onyourleft,boii:** how do you know about it

**Ms.Frizzle:** Bri’s first kiss was a kid a park named orsay

**onyourleft,boii:** do someone else

**Ms.Frizzle:** howard has a onceler blog

**$cammin:** drag me all you fucking like i dont care anymore

**Ms.Frizzle:** howard does drugs

**Ms.Frizzle:** he got stoned at the movie theater and told me that it was 100% percent that way

**Ms.Frizzle** : it was fifty shades of gray

**RoyaltyTM** : no no no 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Howard dated quinn for two days then edilio for an hour

**RoyaltyTM** : BACK THE FUCK UP

**$cammin** : lol we were five

**RoyaltyTM** : (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ 

**Ms.Frizzle** : lol 


	10. Another ShitpostTM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hahahahah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the songs are We Both Reached For The Gun (Chicago) and Non-Stop (Hamilton)

_MEMESASSEMBLE_

**Rich_Bitch** : Mr. Caine Soren in the press conference rag

 **Rich_Bitch** : Notice how his mouth never moves

 **Rich_Bitch** : Almost

 **onyourleft,boii** : Where’d you come from?

 **Ms.Frizzle:** Mississippi

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : And your parents?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Very wealthy.

 **$cammin** : Where are they now?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Six feet under.

 **RoyaltyTM** : But he was granted one more start

 **Ms.Frizzle** : The convent of The Sacred Heart!

 **onyourleft,boii** : When'd you get here?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : 1920

 **boozeTM** : How old were you?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Don't remember

 **$cammin** : Then what happened?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I met Quinn

 **Ms.Frizzle** : And he stole my heart away

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Convinced me to elope one day

 **Rich_Bitch** : Oh you poor dear I can't believe what you have been through A convent girl! A run-away marriage!

 **Rich_Bitch** : Now tell us Sammie…

 **Rich_Bitch** : Who's Howard Bassem?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : My ex-boyfriend.

 **boozeTM** : Why'd you shoot him?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I was leavin'.

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : Was he angry?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Like a madman

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Still I said, "Howard, move along."

 **RoyaltyTM** : He knew that he was doing wrong.

 **$cammin** : Then describe it.

 **Ms.Frizzle** : He came toward me.

 **onyourleft,boii** : With the pistol?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : From my bureau.

 **boozeTM** : Did you fight him?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Like a tiger.

 **RoyaltyTM** : He had strength and he had none.

 **Ms.Frizzle** : And yet we both reached for the gun

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Oh yes we both

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Oh yes, we both reached for

 **Ms.Frizzle** : The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Oh yes, we both reached for the gun

 **Ms.Frizzle** : For the gun.

 **boozeTM** : Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both

 **onyourleft,boii** : Oh yes, they both

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : Oh yes, they both reached for

 **$cammin** : The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun,

 **boozeTM** : Oh yes, they both reached for the gun

 **Rich_Bitch** : for the gun.

 **RoyaltyTM** : Understandable, understandable

 **RoyaltyTM** : Yes it's perfectly understandable

 **RoyaltyTM** : Comprehensible, Comprehensible

 **RoyaltyTM** : Not a bit reprehensible

 **RoyaltyTM** : It's so defensible

 **onyourleft,boii** : How're you feeling?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Very frightened

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : Are you sorry?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Are you kidding?

 **$cammin** : What's your statement?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : All I'd say is

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Though my choo-choo jumped the track

 **Ms.Frizzle** : I'd give my life to bring him back

 **boozeTM** : And?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Stay away from…

 **onyourleft,boii** : What?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Jazz and liquor…

 **boozeTM** : And?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : And the men who...

 **$cammin** : What?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Play for fun…

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : And what?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : That's the thought that…

 **onyourleft,boii** : Yeah

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Came upon me…

 **boozeTM** : When?

 **Ms.Frizzle** : When we both reached for the gun!

 **Rich_Bitch** : Understandable, understandable

 **Rich_Bitch** : Yes, it's perfectly understandable

 **Rich_Bitch** : Comprehensible, comprehensible

 **Rich_Bitch** : Not a bit reprehensible

 **Rich_Bitch** : It's so defensible!

 **$cammin** : Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : Oh yes, they both

 **boozeTM** : Oh yes, they both reached for

 **RoyaltyTM** : Let me hear it!

 **boozeTM** : The gun, the gun, the gun,

 **onyourleft,boii** : The gun

 **$cammin** : Oh yes, they both reached

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : For the gun

 **RoyaltyTM** : A little louder!

 **Rich_Bitch** : For the Gun.

 **boozeTM** : Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both

 **$cammin** : Oh yes, they both

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : Oh yes, they both reached

 **onyourleft,boii** : For the gun, the gun,

 **RoyaltyTM** : Now you got it!

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : The gun, the gun

 **boozeTM** : Oh yes. They both reached

 **onyourleft,boii** : For the gun

 **$cammin** : For the gun.

 **boozeTM** : Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : Oh yes, they both

 **Rich_Bitch** : Oh yes, they both reached for

 **gravityorboysdontaffetme** : The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

 **$cammin** : Oh yes, they both reached for the gun

 **onyourleft,boii** : For the gun.

 **boozeTM** : Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both

 **boozeTM** : Oh yes, they both

 **onyourleft,boii** : Oh yes, reached for

 **gravityorboysdontaffetme** : The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

 **$cammin** : The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

 **$cammin** : The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

 **RoyaltyTM** : Both reached for the...gun

 **$cammin** : The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

 **boozeTM** : The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

 **onyourleft,boii** : The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : The gun, the gun,

 **RoyaltyTM** : Both reached for the gun.

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : i fuckinf hate this

 **Ms.Frizzle** : do one with us its so fun

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : fuck no

 **Ms.Frizzle** : pls

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : i dont know any songs

 **RoyaltyTM** : hah what you were playing yesterday

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : no im pretty sure no one else knows it

 **RoyaltyTM** : trust me

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : After the war I went back to New York

 **Ms.Frizzle** : !!!!!!

 **RoyaltyTM** : A-After the war I went back to New York

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : I finished up my studies and I practiced law

 **RoyaltyTM** : I practiced law, Merwin worked next door

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Even though we started at the very same time Caine Soren began to climb,

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : How to account for his rise to the top? Man, the man is

 **Rich_Bitch** : Non-stop

 **RoyaltyTM** : Gentlemen of the jury, I’m curious, bear with me, Are you aware that we’re making hist’ry? This is the first murder trial of our brand-new nation

 **RoyaltyTM** : The liberty behind deliberation

 **onyourleft,boii** : (Non-stop)

 **RoyaltyTM** : I intend to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt with my assistant counsel

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Co-counsel. Soren, sit down

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Our client Levi Weeks is innocent; call your first witness

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : That’s all you had to say

 **RoyaltyTM** : Okay

 **RoyaltyTM** : One more thing

 **$cammin** : Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room?

 **onyourleft,boii** : Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Soon that attitude may be your doom (aww)

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Why do you write like you’re running out of time? Write day and night like you’re running out of time?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Ev’ry day you fight, like you’re running out of time

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Keep on fighting in the meantime

 **boozeTM** : Non-stop

 **RoyaltyTM** : Corruption’s such an old song that we can sing along in harmony and nowhere is it stronger than in Albany

 **RoyaltyTM** : This colony’s economy’s increasingly stalling and honestly, that’s why public service seems to be calling me

 **boozeTM** : (he’s just non-stop)

 **RoyaltyTM** : I practiced the law, I practic’ly perfected it. I’ve seen injustice in the world and I’ve corrected it

 **RoyaltyTM** : Now for a strong central democracy. If not, then I’ll be Socrates throwing verbal rocks at these mediocrities (aww)

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Soren, at the constitutional convention

 **RoyaltyTM** : I was chosen for the constitutional convention

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : There as a New York junior delegate

 **RoyaltyTM** : Now what I’m going to say may sound indelicate (aww)

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Goes and proposes his own form of government

 **onyoureleft,boii** : (what?)

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : His own plan for a new form of government

 **Rich_Bitch** : (what?)

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Talks for six hours the convention is listless

 **boozeTM** : Bright young man

 **$cammin** : Yo, who the f is this?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Why do you always say what you believe? Why do you always say what you believe?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Ev’ry proclamation guarantees free ammunition for your enemies

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Why do you write like it’s going out of style?

 **onyourleft,boii** : Write day and night like it’s going out of style?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Ev’ry day you fight like it’s going out of style

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Do what you do

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Caine?

 **RoyaltyTM** : Drake Merwin, sir

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : It’s the middle of the night

 **RoyaltyTM** : Can we confer, sir?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Is this a legal matter?

 **RoyaltyTM** : Yes, and it’s important to me

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : What do you need?

 **RoyaltyTM** : Merwin, you’re a better lawyer than me

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Okay

 **RoyaltyTM** : I know I talk too much, I’m abrasive; you’re incredible in court, you’re succinct, persuasive

 **RoyaltyTM** : My client needs a strong defense you’re the solution

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Who’s your client?

 **RoyaltyTM** : The new U.S. Constitution?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : No

 **RoyaltyTM** : Hear me out

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : No way

 **RoyaltyTM** : A series of essays, anonymously published defending the document to the public

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : No one will read it

 **RoyaltyTM** : I disagree

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : And if it fails?

 **RoyaltyTM** : Merwin, that’s why we need it

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : The constitution’s a mess

 **RoyaltyTM** : So it needs amendments

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : It’s full of contradictions

 **RoyaltyTM** : So is independence; we have to start somewhere

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : No

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : No way

 **RoyaltyTM** : You’re making a mistake

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Good night

 **RoyaltyTM** : Hey, What are you waiting for? What do you stall for?

 **onyourleft,boii** : (what?)

 **RoyaltyTM** : We won the war; What was it all for? Do you support this constitution?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Of course

 **RoyaltyTM** : Then defend it

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : And what if you’re backing the wrong horse?

 **RoyaltyTM** : Merwin, we studied and we fought and we killed for the notion of a nation we now get to build

 **RoyaltyTM** : For once in your life, take a stand with pride; I don’t understand how you stand to the side

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : I’ll keep all my plans close to my chest

 **$cammin** : (wait for it, wait for it, wait)

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : I’ll wait here and see which way the wind will blow

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : I’m taking my time watching the afterbirth of a nation watching the tension grow

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : I am sailing off to London; I’m accompanied by someone who always pays

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : I have found a wealthy husband who will keep me in comfort for all my days

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : He is not a lot of fun, but there’s no one who can match you for turn of phrase, My Caine

 **RoyaltyTM** : Dekka

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : Don’t forget to write

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Look at where you are; look at where you started

 **Ms.Frizzle** : The fact that you’re alive is a miracle just stay alive, that would be enough

 **Ms.Frizzle** : And if your wife could share a fraction of your time

 **Ms.Frizzle** : If I could grant you peace of mind; would that be enough?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Caine joins forces with Albert Hillsborough and Howard Bassem to write a series of essays defending the new United States constitution entitled The Federalist papers

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : The plan was to write a total of twenty-five essays the work divided evenly among the three men

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : In the end, they wrote eighty-five essays, in the span of six months

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Howard Bassem got sick after writing five; Albert Hillsborough wrote twenty-nine; Soren wrote the other fifty-one

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : How do you write like you’re running out of time?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Write day and night like you’re running out of time?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Ev’ry day you fight like you’re running out of time like you’re running out of time

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Are you running out of time?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : How do you write like tomorrow won’t arrive? How do you write like you need it to survive?

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : How do you write ev’ry second you’re alive? Ev’ry second you’re alive? Ev’ry second you’re alive?

 **Rich_Bitch** : They are asking me to lead; I am doing the best I can

 **Rich_Bitch** : To get the people that I need; I’m asking you to be my right hand man

 **RoyaltyTM** : Treasury or State?

 **Rich_Bitch** : I know it’s a lot to ask

 **RoyaltyTM** : Treasury or State?

 **Rich_Bitch** : To leave behind the world you know

 **RoyaltyTM** : Sir, do you want me to run the Treasury or State department?

 **Rich_Bitch** : Treasury

 **RoyaltyTM** : Let’s go

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Caine

 **RoyaltyTM** : I have to leave

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Caine

 **RoyaltyTM** : Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Helpless

 **RoyaltyTM** : They are asking me to lead

 **Ms.Frizzle:** Look around, isn’t this enough?

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : He will never be satisfied, he will never be satisfied; Satisfied, satisfied

 **gravityorboysdontaffectme** : He will never be satisfied; Satisfied, satisfied

 **Rich_Bitch** : History has its eyes on you

 **RoyaltyTM** : I am not throwin’ away my shot; I am not throwin’ away my shot

 **RoyaltyTM** : I am Caine Soren

 **RoyaltyTM** : I am not throwin’ away my shot

 **$cammin** : this is so fucking weird

 **ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : yeah why is sam eliza

 **Ms.Frizzle** : Because i love her

 **onyourleft,boii** : he also privatly meassaged us and said he release more dirt on us with he didnt get to be Eliza

 **RoyaltyTM** : whats wrong with you

 **Ms.Frizzle** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

_Ms.Frizzle added all contacts into a groupchat_

_Ms.Frizzle named the chat TheNoogetyClusterFuck_

**RoyaltyTM** : SAM NO

 **Ms.Frizzle** : SAM YES


	11. OVERDUE AND IN NEED OF COVFEFE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first arc is over they found their daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> message from bro: she had a panic attack, she fine tho
> 
> i helped write this chapter and played the character of Howard OwO

_ TheNoogetyClusterFuck _

**Too-Smart-For-You** : will someone please explain

**tiredofyou** : well sam? Caine? Sam? SAM? 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Well theres not much to explain

**RoyaltyTM** : its four in the morning, you added all your contacts in one chat, and oh yeah

**RoyaltyTM** : YOU CAME BY COATES AND KIDNAP ME AND DIANA

**Ms.Frizzle** : First off, it wasnt kidnapping, 

**Ms.Frizzle** :Second, we have one more person to pick up

**Too-Smart-For-You** : so wait if you two are together why not talk out loud

**tiredofyou** : because lanas not in the mood to deal with us 

**goldengirl** : same

**tiredofyou** : no offense but who the fuck are you?

**RoyaltyTM** : see sam this is why this wont work

**Ms.Frizzle** : Just everyone introduce yourselves to each other

**goldengirl** : taylor

**tiredofyou** : diana

**Too-Smart-For-You** : how many people are in this chat

**Ms.Frizzle** : … 23 people

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : gdi Sam how many chats

**Ms.Frizzle** : 12, not a big deal tho

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : SAM 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : tell me that isnt you guys driving towards my house

**RoyaltyTM** : it was sam idea to bring you along I said we should let you work 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : where are we going

**tiredofyou** : hm? Sam 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Rembrr the city that was having the pride festival a few months ago?

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : yeah, all the way up there?

**Ms.Frizzle** : Yeah thats where mine and Caines dad live

**RoyaltyTM** : Sam brought his two friends and i brought you kinda, 

**Ms.Frizzle** : I gonna get Gaia too

**tiredofyou** : how do you know of gaia

**RoyaltyTM** : so you didn’t tell him??? How tf do you know

**Ms.Frizzle** : lol 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : whos gaia

**Rich_Bitch** : my guess is caine and dianas kid

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : ok so im talk to caine outloud and in privaty bye 

**goldengirl** : name?

**Rich_Bitch** : Albert

**Too-Smart-For-You** : Astrid

**goldengirl** : im making a fucking list honestly what the fuck sam

**LittleDevil** : who are these people?

**Ms.Frizzle** : My friends

**Ms.Frizzle** : Don't repeat anything they say please

**LittleDevil** : fuck

**Ms.Frizzle** : Fuck

**goldengirl** : whats your name

**LittleDevil** : gaia 

**Rich_Bitch** : what/

**tiredofyou** : you added my daughter to this chat

**LittleDevil** : hi mommy!

**Rich_Bitch** : who do you thin is gonna kill Sam first diana or Caine

**LittleDevil** : me

**goldengirl** : same

**$cammin** : I love her @caine can I adopt her

**LittleDevil** : try it and I'll set you on fire 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Sam where are we going you're staring at your phone really hard

**Ms.Frizzle** : Gaia wanna come with us 

**RoyaltyTM** : Sam I will throw your phone out the window

**Ms.Frizzle** : Why not just kick me out the chat

**Rich_Bitch** : how do you do that

**RoyaltyTM** : why don't I just throw you out the car

**Ms.Frizzle** : Im ready

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : noooooo

**goldengirl** : I need y'alls names 

**RoyaltyTM** : Caine Soren

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Quinn 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Everyone knows who I am

**poolboy** : I'm duck

**tiredofyou** : wtf Sam

**i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : im mary 

**goldengirl** : i know that god youre name is so long 

**RoyaltyTM** : commas are important

**BRUISESANDBITEMARKS** : dahra 

**poolboy** : @mary can you take me school today

**i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : sure 

**goldengirl** : i feel like there are a lot of mini crews here

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : okay but whos the orginal squad

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : i think its me, sam, astrid, and edilio

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : i think its me, diana, and caine (maybe sam)

**gunsandcigarettes** : no its me, sam, and diana

**Too-Smart-For-You** : please say your name

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : drake

**gunsandcigarettes** : lana

**cantbevinced** : shouldnt you be driving

**gunsandcigarettes** : we are at stoplight

**cantbevinced** : LANA 

**cantbevinced** : im sanjit btw

**PureTM** : Guys, guess what.

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : yes edilio

**PureTM** : The new kid whos assembly is tomorrow is Roger!!!

**Ms.Frizzle** : The first time edilio made a spelling mistake and extra puntaction im so porud

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : yup im here right now

_ the-gay-palette-suits-me-better sent the image [ive arrived] _

**Too-Smart-For-You** : is that Edilio in the bg

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : yup!!! Im roger btw

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : im kinda upset ya didnt stay for me

**Ms.Frizzle** : Y'all've'd

**$cammin** : im howard

**boozeTM** : orc

**DontTrustMe** : why am i in this chat meant for lessers

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : why is the whore in this chat

**DontTrustMe** : screw you merwin

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : ya know caine aint here so i get to beat your ass now

**Ms.Frizzle** : YALL 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Need to chill seriously

**Ms.Frizzle** : Either knock it off or ill stay here in the city

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : noooooo 

**DontTrustMe** : why am i here 

**Rich_Bitch** : I ask myself that everyday

**$cammin** : why was i put on this earth

**boozeTM** : what is my purpose in life

**Ms.Frizzle** : Noo stop them

**Ms.Frizzle** : @bri bring memes

**onyourleft,boii** : this bitch empty 

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : YEET

**onyourleft,boii** : brianna

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : dekka 

**Bleeding_Violet** : I'm jezzie

**DontTrustMe** : penny 

**RoyaltyTM** : why do you have penny's info

**Ms.Frizzle** : Why and not 

**Black_Roses** : I'm tsundere

**Black_Roses** : wtf *****Sinder 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Aaaaand that's every one 

**goldengirl** : u sure 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Yeet

**Ms.Frizzle** : @gaia if you're not gonna eat your chicken nuggets give em to me

**Rich_Bitch** : are y'all at Mickey ds 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : have been for a while 

**tiredofyou** : Sam got us a discount for running the twitter

**Ms.Frizzle** : And for giving out your contact info

**Rich_Bitch** : gdi

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : wait why did you give out his contact info

**Rich_Bitch** : cuz I'm the CEO of mickeys d

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : well shit I'm in a group chat with a millionaire 

**goldengirl** : he's actually a billionaire 

**DontTrustMe** : hi there

**Rich_Bitch** : I'm aroace 

**DontTrustMe** : wtf is that

**Ms.Frizzle** : Guys don't curse around Gaia please

**DontTrustMe** : or what

**Ms.Frizzle** : Brb gotta mess around with the settings 

**gunsandcigarettes** : and I'm scared now

**cantbevinced** : yeah we're john Egbert 

**cantbevinced** : that's not what I wrote??????? 

**$cammin** : omg Dave strider 

**poolboy** : bad and naughty words get turn into homestuck characters

**gunsandcigarettes** : I can't breathe

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : KARKAT VANTAS

**tiredofyou** : this is The Best thing you've ever done Sam ilysm 

**Ms.Frizzle** : thnx 

**tiredofyou** : I take it back

**Ms.Frizzle** : rued 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : rued 

**PureTM** : rued

**Ms.Frizzle** : did Roger just stral edilios phone

**PureTM** : awwww no one fell for it :(

**Ms.Frizzle** : Rogers too pure 

**poolboy** : let's play a game 

**i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : what game

**poolboy** : never have I but everyone has 10 points and the things are bad 

**Ms.Frizzle** : yee 

**poolboy** : okay I'll start never have I suck dick

**i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : 10

**BRUISESANDBITEMARKS** : 10

**Ms.Frizzle** : 10

**Too-Smart-For-You** : i feel like sams lying 10

**Ms.Frizzle** : No I'm not

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : 9

**Ms.Frizzle** : Gamzee makara

**$cammin** : if you done it twice does that take two points

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Penny would be out the game then

**DontTrustMe** : @ me next time 

**poolboy** : no

**$cammin** : 10

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : 9

**DontTrustMe** : 9

**tiredofyou** : 10

**Ms.Frizzle** : shit brb

**tiredofyou** : gdi what did you do

**RoyaltyTM** : I've accepted the fact that sam is 1000% going to get arrested

**poolboy** : so they gone now

**poolboy** : well shit what r we gonna do

**DontTrustMe** : is anyone from Coates here??

**DontTrustMe** : expect drake 

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : I go I'm in your science class 

**onyourleft,boii** : i go!!!

**DontTrustMe** : i don’t bielebe you

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : !!!L:FJLK:AJKLFKJL

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : bielebe

**onyourleft,boii** : bielebe

**poolboy** : bielebe

**LittleDevil** : Bielebe

**i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : bieleb

**poolboy** : Mary just fucked up a fuck up

**BRUISESANDBITEMARKS** : no she didn't 

**BRUISESANDBITEMARKS** : oh u’re talking about the speeling error 

**poolboy** : speeling

**PureTM** : Not to interrupt, but school is going to start soon and I don't think any of you are allowed to be on your phones during the lessons.

**Too-Smart-For-You** : am I the only scared as to why Sam and the others hadn't talked yet

**cantbevinced** : lana 

**cantbevinced** : lanaaaa

**cantbevinced** : lanaaaaaaaaa

**gunsandcigarettes** : sanj stop it

**gunsandcigarettes** : I'm already pissed

**goldengirl** : what did Sam do

**Ms.Frizzle** : lol

**RoyaltyTM** : it's not funny SAMURAI 

**RoyaltyTM** : the nepeta leijon

**Ms.Frizzle** : was is autocorrect?

**Too-Smart-For-You** : what did you do Sam 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Nothing mom

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : what I thought me and Caine was your dad

**Ms.Frizzle** : then Astrid can be my??? idk cousin??

**Too-Smart-For-You** : I don't want to apart of this family 

**Ms.Frizzle** : rued

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : rued 

**RoyaltyTM** : sighs 

**RoyaltyTM** : rued

**tiredofyou** : aww Caine did it 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : let's keep it going

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : rued

**tiredofyou** : rued

**gunsandcigarettes** : rued

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Astrid ur not allowed to do it

**Too-Smart-For-You** : why would I want to

**boozeTM** : rued

**Rich_Bitch** : rued

**onyourleft,boii** : rued

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : rued

**BRUISESANDBITEMARKS** : Rued 

**i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : rued

**goldengirl** : rued

**poolboy** : rued

**LittleDevil** : rued

**Ms.Frizzle:** ayyy I got Gaia to do it

**$cammin** : rued

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : rued 

**cantbevinced** : rued

**Black_Roses** : rued

**Bleeding_Violets** : rued 

**DontTrustMe** : rued

**Too-Smart-For-You** : so what did Sam do tho

**Ms.Frizzle** : haha it's actually CAINES fault

**RoyaltyTM** : how is it my fault you punched a dude?

**Ms.Frizzle** : you wouldn't punch him for me or Quinn

**cantbevinced** : why did you want him to be punched

**Ms.Frizzle** : so the dude on cashier is clearly having some kinda anxiety attack

**Ms.Frizzle:** he's shaking and stuttering and whimpering 

**Ms.Frizzle** : he's crying so hard that he gets a nose bleed and he can't type on the order thing

**Ms.Frizzle** : I went back up to order some more food and the dude in front of me goes, “hurry it up retard,”

**Too-Smart-For-You** : who wants to help me bury the body

**tiredofyou** : mood 

**Ms.Frizzle** : and the guy pipes up, ‘sorry my bf just broke up with me-” 

**Ms.Frizzle** : the asswipe goes “ugh fags’ and I raise my hand to yknow 

**poolboy** : punch him?

**Ms.Frizzle** : Caine grabs my arm, and tries to get the attention of the dude

**SurferandFisher-Boii** : Caines doing that stupid ‘humph, hmph, hmph,’ noise bs

**RoyaltyTM** : the guy turns around and his face is redder than ketchup

**Ms.Frizzle** : shush im telling the story

**Ms.Frizzle** : caine says ‘maybe you shouldn’t say that loud enough for anyone human being with basic decency to hear.’

**Ms.Frizzle** : the idiot goes, ‘did you just call me humus?”

**poolboy** : he did not 

**tiredofyou** : he fuckin did and i almost started crying

**Ms.Frizzle** : I say ‘no he called you homo’

**Ms.Frizzle** : the guy tries to grab my collar and i duck

**poolboy** : yes?

**Ms.Frizzle** : as much as i love that joke not now rubberduckie 

**poolboy** : *do not*

**Ms.Frizzle** : i back up a few steps and this guy says ‘i aint a fag’

**Ms.Frizzle** : i scream ‘WELl i am BiATCH’

**Ms.Frizzle** : the dude freezes and with no hesalkafn i punch him

**Ms.Frizzle** : all of us are like ‘o shit man look what you did’

**Ms.Frizzle** : so i grab one of the bags on the counter and run to lanas car

**Ms.Frizzle** : and me and gaia are currently sharing some chicken nuggets

**poolboy** : chicken nugs :>

**Ms.Frizzle** : duckie nigs

**$cammin** : do not 

**boozeTM** : the tchr kps glring at ou 

**PureTM** : Howard just flipped Mrs. Resz off. 

**boozeTM** : hoWD NI

**DontTrustMe** : howd 

**ChainsAndWhipsExciteMe** : not col pny

**DontTrustMe** : Tavros Nitram you drake 

**ChainsAndWhipsExciteMe** : fite me joe 

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : friggin’ joe, always being dumb

**$cammin** : OWO I'm sowwy Mws. Rwesz

**boozeTM** : wy 

**Ms.Frizzle** : howard wrtie that in the meme chat no context just taht 

_ MEMESASSEMBLE _

**$cammin** : OWO I’m sowwy Mws. Rwesz 

**$cammin** : SHE JUSTA LOKS AT MY PJONE 

**Rich_Bitch** : SHE JUST TOOK HIS PHONE AND IS SCROLLING TJROUGH OUR SHT NO 

**Ms.Frizzle** : BINCH 

**MS.Frizzle** : spam the chat spam it 

**onyourleft,boii** : A;lkdhlf 

**onyourleft,boii** : Alfdkh sflka dsf

**onyourleft,boii** : Sd;fsdfs

**onyourleft,boii** : Dfh dslhsf

**onyourleft,boii** : Sdf sdf

**onyourleft,boii** : Sdf sd sdf 

**onyourleft,boii** : F dslf s

**onyourleft,boii** : F sdf

**onyourleft,boii** : Ds dsf

**onyourleft,boii** : Sd fsd

**onyourleft,boii** :  Fsdf

**onyourleft,boii** : F sd ds

**onyourleft,boii** : F dsf d

**onyourleft,boii** : Sf sd

**onyourleft,boii** : F sdf

**onyourleft,boii** :  Dsf sdf

**onyourleft,boii** : Ds

**onyourleft,boii** : Fsd

**onyourleft,boii** : Fsd

**onyourleft,boii** : Fs

**onyourleft,boii** : Df

**onyourleft,boii** : Dsfa

**onyourleft,boii** : Fd

**onyourleft,boii** : Sf 

**onyourleft,boii** : Dsf sdf sd

**onyourleft,boii** : F d

**onyourleft,boii** : Fdf df

**onyourleft,boii** : Ds fdsfsd

**onyourleft,boii** : F s

**onyourleft,boii** : F

**Rich_Bitch** : Okay she stopped. 

**Rich_Bitch** : Howard just let out a sound equivalent to a audible keyboard smash. 

**Ms.Frizzle** : Okay but big mood

_ TheNoogettyClusterFuck _

**poolboy** : that went awful i take it?

**poolboy** : howard looks like he’s crying

**DonTrustMe** :  1-800-did-iask

**poolboy** : i asctually clicked on the line and its a regrection line kll me please

**Ms.Frizzle** : sucking dick for free

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : DIRK STRider please tell thats not what your doing 

**Ms.Frizzle** : i hiding in the back of lana’s truck

**RoyaltyTM** : sam you made us come out here not get out

**cantbevinced** : you guys are already there?

**RoyaltyTM** : yea we’re outside our dad’s apartment and sam wont get his jade harley out

**Ms.Frizzle** : im scared okay???? Like oh no ;a

**gunsandcigarettes** : shit

**Too-Smart-For-You** : whats the matter

**tiredofyou** : private chat later

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : ????? TELL ME 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Later okay?? 

**Ms.Frizzle** : okay i’m 

**Ms.Frizzle** : better now

**Ms.Frizzle** : i run everything by yall later 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : ??? wait tell meeeeeeeeeee

**Ms.Frizzle** : okay later drake 

**poolboy** : howard just called to stay after class al;kjfdlk;jdf

**boozeTM** : she wnt to knw wh bri is

_ TheDiscourseTM _

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : okay so me, lana and diana are waiting in the hallway while, sam caine, and gaia are to sam/caine’s dad and gaia’s granddad

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : and Diana’s phone died to ill tell yall happened

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : so sam started getting his daily panic attack and so caine got in the back of the truck with sam was hugging/holding sam whispering stuff i couldnt hear to calm down

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : sam calmed down pretty quickly and caine is trying to not use his powers to destroy shit 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : and some dude just ran in here and he froze at diana she just said ‘yooo it the gvnmt dude from the check-up’ and shes right

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : ‘so what are yo udoing here’

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : ‘oh yknow my roomate just discovered he’s a dad to twins so’

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : ‘and a grandpa to a two-year old daughter/

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : ‘oh you know them”

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : ‘well he’s dating the younger one, im the mom of the granddaughter, and the bff of the older one.’

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : ‘oh well, let’s go get dinner, then,’

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : ‘can i charge my phone in your car?’

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : so me and diana are currently in Darius’ car?

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : who the fuck is daruous 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : Sam/caine’s dad’s roommate, and i think he’s some type of security guard for one of the scientist studying yall

**Too-Smart-For-You** : is it Dr. Miller?

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : nah it’s dr. smith?

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : dont know who that is

**Too-Smart-For-You** : hes a radiologist specialist

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : fucking explain it better

**Too-Smart-For-You** : he studies radiation

**tiredofyou** : Taegan Smith?

**Too-Smart-For-You** : yes?

**tiredofyou** : that’s sam/caine dad

**Too-Smart-For-You** : man thy’ve met each other before wow

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : al;kdljf that was the dude who took caine’s blood

**Too-Smart-For-You** : wow that’s that’s really something huh

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : hows sammy now?

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : he sent me a text telling me to get him his favorite from wendy’s so i guess were getting wendy’s

<tfw you have to get wendy’s cause youre banned from the closest Mickey-D’s _ [image: allaroundmearefamiliarfaceswornoutplaces] _ >

<@MickeyD how did you get banned from your own restaurant?>

<Guy was begin homophobic so i punched him, and ran>

<YOUR MY HERO>

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : my phones about to die so ttyl

**Too-Smart-For-You** : bye

_ TheNoogetyClusterFuck _

**Ms.Frizzle** : so im back

**Ms.Frizzle** : it went pretty well i guess

**Ms.Frizzle** : he decided to watch over gaia for caine (whose phone broke) and his roommate unofficialy adopted diana

**Ms.Frizzle** : he’s gonna download this app so we can keep in contact and junk

**Ms.Frizzle** : Quinn, and Diana are both asleep, Caine is trying not to fall asleep and it almost 11 pm so all of yall are asleep probably

**Ms.Frizzle** : time to piss everyone off

_ Ms.Frizzle changed name to Glow-Stick _

**Glow-Stick** : heyyo its ya boi remix style

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 17 fucking pages..... who knew howard was a furry aparently my sib did. kill me please ifouns the fkal butoon


	12. WOw fastest ive ever done this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> secerts revealed oh shit

_ TheNoogetyClusterFuck _

_ GlowStick added  _ _ The-Better-Steven-Universe into the chat.  _

**GlowStick** : this is hunter!!!! He’s justed transferred into my history class 

**GlowStick** : so be nice ̿̿’̿’\̵͇̿̿\=(•̪●)=/̵͇̿̿/’̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿

**GlowStick** : i wont hestaite

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : im still mad you wont tell me how to change my name

**GlowStick** : just tell me and ill do it for you 

**SurferAndFisher-Boii** : no???? I Tell me how to do it

**goldengirl** : @The-Better-Steven-Universe answers some questions fro the chart

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : the chart?

**goldengirl** : there is a total of 25 peope in here i need a chart okay?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : sam you never said thered be this much people what if i do something stupid

**DontTrustMe** : like that?

**GlowStick** : ⊂•⊃_⊂•⊃ im watching you penny

**DontTrustMe** : jladjk stop with the faces

**goldengirl** : the questions

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : oh right go ahead

**goldengirl** : batman v. superman

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : Batman? Why does that matter

**goldengirl** : because sam already has the info on his phone, i just had to steal his phone to get the info

**goldengirl** : now, fav batman villian?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : Penguin, i like his aesthetic

**goldengirl** : sexuality

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : alkjfdslkj, what

**goldengirl** : what’s your sexuality?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : why does that matter?

**goldengirl** : sam get us sexuality shirts, join us join us 

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : omg, bi

**goldengirl** : pineapple on pizza?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : best fucking topping ever

**gunsandcigarettes** : ew

**poolboy** : why is your name that?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : because i have a pet lion and im not trash so?

**poolboy** : WHAT 

**poolboy** : how do you have a pet lion?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : well, it’s a mountian lion, and its actually a lioness 

**gunsandcigarettes** : that bitch tried to eat me once, 

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : you probably telling the truth

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : she just likes me for my microwave hands

**poolboy** : what

**GlowStick** : right hunter developed powers later, just like rubberduckie

**poolboy** : if it were not for the laws of this land, i would have slaughtered you

_ AmazingMoofs _

_ GlowStick added poolboy, and The-Better-Steven-Universe into the chat.  _

**GlowStick** : this is the chat for powered people who dont suck dick for free

**onyourleft,boii** : then why am i here

**GlowStick** : beacuse youre 12 and you dont suck for free

**GlowStick** : you suck for food

_ TheNoogetyClusterFuck _

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : so is anyone in this chat straight?

**goldengirl** : here’s the link to the chart

**goldengirl** : w.gdisamisickofthisbullshit.com

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : wow so thats alot im crying

**GlowStick** : tay get ready im gonna make another chat w/everyone but also with my dad and his roommate

**goldengirl** : NOOOOO

_ GlowStick added all contacts into a new chat. _

_ GlowStick named the chat HowToAdult _

**GlowStick** : Ayyyyyyyyyo

**army_brat** : omg there’s 27 people in here and i cant do this 

**RadioStar** : thats what she said

**army_brat** : ahd;lskhf TAEGAN NO

**army_brat** : there’s children here

**GlowStick** : the youngest in Gaia, and after that there;s a 12 and everyone besides you two is 15-16

**goldengirl** : sam i just got the chart looking nice >.<

**GlowStick** : noice

**goldengirl** : you two need to answer some questions for the chart

**army_brat** : ask away

**goldengirl** : batman v. superman, fav bm villian, pineapple on pizza

**army_brat** : batman, killer croc, its good

**RadioStar** : batman, deadshot, im good w or w/o

**GlowStick** : tay you know what we should do

**goldengirl** : what samuel

**GlowStick** : first, my full name is not that™, second belly button peircings

**RoyaltyTM** : NO

**goldengirl** : matching ones

**GlowStick** : yes

**RoyaltyTM** : NO SAMURAI

**RoyaltyTM** : GDI SAM WHY DOES MY PHONE DO THAT

**GlowStick** : why should i know?

_ SurferAndFisher-Boii changed name to ActualMerman. _

**ActualMerman** : beacuse you know everything about the app

**ActualMerman** : and changed my name to what i asked. 

**GlowStick** : i couldnt resist

_ ActualMerman changed name to Pineapples. _

**RadioStar** : is that all your changing your name to

**Pineapples** : yes

**army_brat** : why

**goldengirl** : you know what they say about pineapples

**Pineapples** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**army_brat** : taegan im terrified what are the children saying

**RoyaltyTM** : omg stop it cause of your stupid tshirt

**Pineapples** : one my shirt isn’t stupid, second no it’s cause of pysch

**Pineapples** : and yknow what they say about pineapples

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : anything’s a dildo if your brave enough

**RadioStar** : NOT IN MY HOLY CATHOLIC HOME

**GlowStick** : DAD chilll drake isnt serious

**tiredofyou** : aren’t ya atheist

**Glowstick** : y'all'd've'f'ld've

**RoyaltyTM** : yes no one has religion in my family

**army_brat** : you all would have i would have? What are talking about sam

**RoyaltyTM** : finally someone from the south to translate and negaitote with sam

**GlowStick** : i came out to have a good time and honestly im feeling so attacked right now?

_ TheNoogetyClusterFuck _

**GlowStick** : who want to hear me talk about me getting sent to dentention

**gunsandcigarettes** : what did you do sam

**GlowStick** : so im walking in the hall minding my business when i over hear some toothpick say

**GlowStick** : ‘i cant believe we had sit through that boring ass lecture about the gay boy, no one gives a shit about him,’

**PureTM** : who is it

**GlowStick** : idk just some future highschool dropout

**GlowStick** : so i say ‘the gay boy actually isn’t the only queer kid at school, please be careful’

**GlowStick** : ‘why you gonna fite me?’

**GlowStick** : ‘no but my ex might, yknow orc the fucking wall of gay’

**GlowStick** : so he started going on and on about how all the moofs were getting better grades and like other shit? Cause bri won the writing contest so he thought she won because she has powers and ugghhhhh

**GlowStick** : then the bitch goes ‘oh, and lets not talk about how only the black moofs are getting the good powers.’

**GlowStick** : so i broke his nose, and im kinda being watched by the police?

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : youre doing amazing sweetie

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : i cant believe that people like that still exist

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : i can

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : there was this one dude who was ragging on moofs/not-white kids, and i was like ‘dude calm down just finish your homework then we can watch the game; but then i got my powers and ive seen him try to beat kid cause of their powers so i just switched before he figured out 

**poolboy** : okay, so hunter? That sucks, so do you wanna like? Hang out with me and my firends friday we’re going bowling

**GlowStick** : hunter im sorry that this bitch punk ass had something to say like that

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : not to sound mean, but it sounds like you really didn’t try to stop him that hard

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : i.. really didn’t i shouldve tried harder but im definetly gonna try and stop him if i see him do it

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : @poolboy whose your friends,

**poolboy** : mary terrafino, and dahra baidoo, (the gay girl couple suggling outside everyday during 5th lunch)

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : oh i remember them, theyre really nice, mary gave me a cookie once

**tiredofyou** : you overshare when your nervous don’t you?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : is it that obvious?

**GlowStick** : no hunter your doing amazing

**goldengirl** : sam when are we going to the hospital?

**GlowStick** : things discussed in one chat stay in the chat

**goldengirl** : ughhhh

_ SAM’S HAREM _

**goldengirl** : when are we going to the hospital

**BRUISESANDBITEMARKS** : next week

**GlowStick** : everyone remember their jobs?

**Bleeding_Violets** : no

**GlowStick** : sinder, jezzie is in charge of seniors/people in wheelchairs

**GlowStick** : mary and dahra is in charge of decocrating for the play/skit and watching the little kids 

**GlowStick** : me and orc is in charge of prepping food for everyone and talking to staff about what else we can do

**GlowStick** : and tay is in charge of watching the kids visiting from another school

**goldengirl** : ughhhh why

**GlowStick** : because they might mess with patients and theyre really young like 12 or 11

_ GlowStick added RoyaltyTM, RadioStar, army_brat, LittleDevil, and tiredofyou into a groupchat. _

_ GlowStick changed the chat to ~TheFam~ _

**RoyaltyTM** : why don't i question anything any more

**GlowStick** : because im your brother

**RadioStar** : the fam?

**tiredofyou** : short for family, slang 

**army_brat** : I'm still confused, why're me and Diana in this chat?

**GlowStick** : well, Gaia told me she caught you two kissing so?

**RadioStar** : of course 

**GlowStick** : and I'm ninety percent sure Darius wants to adopt diana 

**tiredofyou** : please

**tiredofyou** : you should invite our bf/gf here

_ GlowStick added Pineapples, and Too-Smart-For-You into the chat. _

**army_brat** : im still confused about his name

**Pineapples** : well

**Pineapples** : id bug caine about it

**RoyaltyTM** : nOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Too-Smart-For-You** : okay but 

**Too-Smart-For-You** : are you two actually dating??

**RadioStar** : yes sam’s been showing me sexualtiys and junks

**RadioStar** : i am pan

**tiredofyou** : i knew it was genetic

**Too-Smart-For-You** : okay but what is sams full name

**GlowStick** : he doesn’t know

**RadioStar** : i think its just sam???? I mean that was waht the police letter said

**GlowStick** : yeha no it not

**tiredofyou** : we have bets on what it is mine is samuel

**Pineapples** : mine is samurai

**RoyaltyTM** : im crying no 

**GlowStick** : why brother (◕︵◕)

**GlowStick** : brb

_ NeedsHelpTbh _

**GlowStick** : have we decided the next date?

**gunsandcigarettes** : no we haven’t 

**tiredofyou** : sam why is caine red and shaking

**GlowStick** : how am i supposed to know

_ TheNoogetyClusterFuck _

**RoyaltyTM** : sam stop sending me songs to the moshi monster website im sick of it 

**GlowStick** : mr snoodle do the doodle

**goldengirl** : lakdflksjf hwy did i have a crucsh on you?

**GlowStick** : i honestly do not know

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : what 

**GlowStick** : [ [ link ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ELRe56vUb8) ]

**GlowStick** : tag yourself im blingo the fox

**GlowStick** : Caine is zack binspin

**RoyaltyTM** : stop slandering my good name

**Pineapples** : what good name?

**goldengirl** : see i liked you then you had to open your mouth and ruin evrything

**GlowStick** : um,,,,, were getting mathing belly button preicings? Everything is perfect

**Too-Smart-For-You** : veggietales, i wish i had a belly button

**i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : dont remind me of that astrid

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : okay but back to moshi monsters

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : [ [ link ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_OCoxgUr9E) ]

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : im the diamond necklace singing

**poolboy** : omg im dj quack

**Pineapples** : [ [ link ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQwQOrTPAbE) ]

**Pineapples** : im the guy narrating

**Rich_Bitch** : im big bad bill

**Too-Smart-For-Smart** : im pooky

**goldengirl** : im dr strangeglove

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : [ [ link ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKSIZRNAeIo) ]

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : im iggy

**tiredofyou** : that sounds exactly like gaia

**$cammin** : the lone girl or the group of girls

**RoyaltyTM** : yes

**boozeTM** : sam can you change my name

_ boozeTM changed name to ROCKDADDY _

**$cammin** : omg no, 

**ROCKDADDY** : pls change it

**ROCKDADDY** changed name to Book-Zeke

**Pineapples** : i dont get it

**GlowStick** : okay so like book worm, but the zekes are worms 

**GlowStick** : im a genius

**GlowStick** : [ [ link ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp7rl_imUic) ]

**GlowStick** : there’s a second one lakfjdlkfjs;alkfj

**GlowStick** : im still blingo the fox

**Pineapples** : [ [ link ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_u3vdg4_GyA) ]

**Pineapples** : okay but why is this astrid

**Too-Smart-For-You** : excuse you

**GlowSticks** : who wants to hear a secret about caine?

**RoyaltyTM** : no one

**onyourleft,boii** : no sam tell us

**GlowStick** : when the police introduced me and caine it wasn’t the first time we met

**RoyaltyTM** : NO SAMURAI I MEAN IT

**Pineapples** : im terrified where did you met

**RoyaltyTM** : sam no sighs 

**RoyaltyTM** : ya

**GlowStick** : it'dn't've

**GlowStick** : no ive got type it all back gdi caine

**GlowStick** : moshi monsters, there was this one asshole dude i competed against he hated caine for some reason???? So me and caine teamed up to piss him off

**GlowStick** : he sent us death threats for weeks lol

**RoyaltyTM** : IM TRYING TO LEAVE THAT BEHIND ME SAMURAI

**Pineapples** : can i tell them where me and sam met

**GlowStick** : sure

**Pineapples** : we were four and i wouldnt share my toys with any of the other kids so sam stole all me toys and replaced them with sticks but no one could it prove it was sam so i just quielty fumed at him until i kinda starta punching him?????? 

**tiredofyou** : lol 

**Pineapples** : out of nowhere last year these random ass kids toys started showing up in my locker and sam was the only one who knew my combination and i was like ‘tf is this???? Sam please tell me you didn’t steal these from pete?’

**Pineapples** : sam get this ass eating shit grim on his face and says ‘quinn those are yours from when we were four.  **I** did steal them all those years ago,’

**PureTM** : Didn’t you give Sam a black eye that day?

**Pineapples** : yes 

**GlowStick** : okay wait, we know how  astriana, rodilio, marha, ocward got together how did gairen meet

**goldengirl** : what is that 

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : ship names wait let me guss

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : roger, edilio?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : mary darha

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : orc, howard??

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : and i am stumped on gairen

**GlowStick** : quinn gaither, caine soren

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : oh wait how did the others meet

**GlowStick** : astriana, mutual friends

**GlowStick** : marha, school mutual crushes

**GlowStick** : rodilio, meet at park 

**GlowStick** : ocward, friends to lovers

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : any other ships that i should know about

**Pineapples** : merple

**GlowStick** : the fuc;;;;;; no no no noNONO NONO NOONONONONONONONONO ONONONONON

**RoyaltyTM** : omg merple 

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : what is that??

**Pineapples** : lanjit, jezzder, 

**GlowStick** : lana, sanjit,, met at a smoothie shop on the beach where they work

**GlowStick** : jezzie sinder, same classes in school

**Pineapples** : sam temple, drake merwin,,,, how did yall meet

**GlowStick** : 1; we arent dating 2; the junior surfing competion 4 months ago, he spilt his smoothie on me

**Pineapples** : thats where me and caine met actually 

**Pineapples** : you were surfing in the finals and caine made a comment on how he thought it looked easy, so i challenged him to seeing if he could take lessons from me 

**GlowStick** : well those lessons didn’t play off, he stills sucks at surfing 

**RoyaltyTM** : i was more concerned with kissing than surfing 

**GlowStick** : disgusting?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : what who is drake merwin and why do they think your dating

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : im a drake merwin, and i love him

**GlowStick** : 1) its just a crush, 2) im not talking about this today okay?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : okay? Did i hit a nerve

**Pineapples** : sammy doesn’t like to talk about datng himself or his exs, or new crushes or love about himself. 

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : oh?

_ ChainsandWhipsExciteMe started a conversation with GlowStick _

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : is everything okay? Wait is your court thing tomorrow

**GlowStick** : ....yeah

**GlowStick** : im sorry if i was rude in the groupchat, 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : its okay i understand,

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : me saying i loved you definitely didnt help did it

**GlowStick** : haha its was real just a lot of things in my mind and today

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : can i help at all?

**GlowStick** : prolly not just dont get too mad at me

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : i could never get too mad at you, <3

**GlowStick** : …..<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sam/drake are secretly dating?????? who knew, for how long, who knows


	13. A Character Arc nOICE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bruh just read it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im dying squirtle,

**Arsenic: ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡ರೃ )ﾉ**

**Fluffy: wtf r u ok?**

**Arsenic:** **(´༎ຶ  ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡**

**Fluffy: plese stop**

**Arsenic: ⋋|།'͡ᴼ╭͜ʖ╮͡ᴼ'།|⋌**

**Fluffy: why**

**Arsenic: ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴**

**Fluffy: i always feel like somebody is watching me**

**_\--------------------------------_ **

_ tiredofyou added RoyaltyTM, ChainsandWhipsExciteMe, 4feetofkickass, DontTrustMe, onyourleft,boii, and gravityorboysdontaffectme into a groupchat. _

_ tiredofyou named the chat AllTheBadGuys. _

**onyourleft,boii** : umm, im innocent??

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : no one beileves that bri

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : um why is the slut here like i dont like this

**DontTrustMe** : have you ever heard of puncuntation?

**tiredofyou** : omy godddd shut upppppp

**tiredofyou** : the school wants all its freak’s to be in some club thing for like the press???? So here yeah are 

**RoyaltyTM** : we need a leader i volunteer 

**4feetofkickass** : um andrew???? 

**onyourleft,boii** : who tf is andrew

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : hes in my history class he like has shock waves right

**tiredofyou** : just add him

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : i dont have his contact info

**4feetofkickass** : im not an admin

**tiredofyou** : finnneeee give it to me

_ tiredofyou added SANICSCREAM into AllTheBadGuys _

**SANICSCREAM** : i am terrified what is going on

**tiredofyou** : scroll the fuck up

**SANICSCREAM** : alright???

**SANICSCREAM** : cj why did you sell me out

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : yeah drew

**SANICSCREAM** : i will fight all of you at the same time

**RoyaltyTM** : why does chat go off more than ncf

**SANICSCREAM** : tf is ncf

**tiredofyou** : i’ll add you

**tiredofyou** : and cj

_ TheNoogettyClusterFuck _

**poolboy** : okay but why is poolboy a trope in porn

**Too-Smart-For-You** : so you know and yet you choose your name as this why?

**poolboy** : okay but to be fair, answer my question

**GlowStick** : maybe you chose your profession

**poolboy** : that’s not funny at all

**GlowStick** : do you know what this chat needs?

_ tiredofyou added SANICSCREAM and 4feetofkickass into the groupchat. _

**GlowStick** : not that

**goldengirl** : gdi why does she have admin privileges

**GlowStick** : because she doesnt have privilege anywhere else

**goldengirl** : i need yall to answers questions for the chart

**SANICSCREAM** : chart

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : dont question it

**goldengirl** : batman vs superman, fav batman villian, sexualites, and pineapple on pizza

**SANICSCREAM** : hawkgirl, joker, gay gay gay, ill cut a bitch if they try to add pineapples to pizza

**GlowStick** : its were they belong

**SANICSCREAM** : no it isnt

**4feetofkickass** : superman, riddler, straight, and sams wrong when it comes to pineapples pizza

**GlowStick** : im never wrong

**RoyaltyTM** : okay that’s a lie samurai youre almost always wrong

**GlowStick** : @someone save me

**poolboy** : leave sammy alone i will not heastaite 

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : you spelled hesitate wrong

**poolboy** : hunter help defend sam 

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : i am 

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : im defending him from your bad spelling

**Rich_Bitch** : howard and orc are hiding in my garage and none of my siblings will leave me or them alone

**Rich_Bitch** : ‘so which one are you dating?’ none of them bitch! I am an asexual, i will fight all of you 

**Rich_Bitch** : my sister just asked orc if he had a rock dick 

**Rich_Bitch** : im gonna go kms see yall in hell

**gunsandcigarettes** : well does he

**$cammin** : yes he has one

**poolboy** : one, how many does he have

**$cammin** : seventeen

**Book-Zeke** : alkdjfsa;a;ljkddjkld stop it howard

**Rich_Bitch** : can we please leave please

**Rich_Bitch** : like go to mickey-d’s or even like die please

**$cammin** : one of your siblings asked ‘so whos the furry?’

**gunsandcigarettes** : well its obv howard

**Too-Smart-For-You** : it’s both of them

**GlowStick** : as i was saying before the pineapple wrong people joined 

**4feetofkickass** : that’s not even an insult

**GlowStick** : THIS CHAT NEEDS SOME

_ GlowStick added fbibot in TheNoogetyClusterFuck. _

**GlowStick** : bots

_ SAM’S HAREM _

**goldengirl** : um sam?????

**GlowStick** : tay your suppose to watch the other students

**goldengirl** : okay but does drake have a brother

**GlowStick** : why?????

**goldengirl** sent the image [im freaking out]

**GlowStick** : they look a little alike

**Book-Zeke** : looks more like daddy to me

**GlowStick** : daddy

**Book-Zeke** : iadfjlkdf i mean a father son realtionship

**GlowStick** : i guess???????????

**GlowStick** : ask him even he knows a drake

**goldengirl** : kay

**goldengirl** : he says kinda??? It sounds familiar but he has amnesia so it might who knows?

**GlowStick** : ill be over in a minute @Black_Roses come take my place 

**Black_Roses** : kay

**GlowStick** : wow he does look a lot like Draek

_ NeedsHelpTbh _

**gunsandcigarettes** : sam you dont seem okay? wahts up?

**GlowStick** : wahts

**tiredofyou** : sam YOU have been weird 

**GlowStick** : im fine honestly just busy at the moment

**gunsandcigarettes** : oh, its the hospital day huh

**GlowStick** : yeah, but like? Its the one that i like gave my statement in so im freaking a little

**tiredofyou** : text us later okay? <3

**gunsandcigarettes** : <3

**GlowStick** : ✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌

**tiredofyou** : pfffft love ya 

**GlowStick** : love ya too

_ Coates_Bad_Trio _

**tiredofyou** : Caine whats wrong with Sam

**RoyaltyTM** : he screams and cover his ears whenever i ask so idk

**RoyaltyTM** : its freacking me and quinn out tho

**tiredofyou** : @drake answer the question

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : how should i know

**RoyaltyTM** : answer us 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : no

**tiredofyou** : he sweating i can see it from here

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : I DONT KNOW 

**tiredofyou** : ill tell sam you told us and then he tell us 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : nO okay Sam’s step dad was in custody court or watevr nd sm ws frekin abut it pls dnt tel hm he hat me

**RoyaltyTM** : WHAT WHY DIDNT HE TELL US

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : he still feels bad about his panic attack when you met your dad

**tiredofyou** : he doesnt need to feel like that

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : please dont tell he wont talk to me anymore please i really like sam

**RoyaltyTM** : oh we know, we know

**tiredofyou** : wait how did the court decide 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : sams completely emancipated so he needs an apartment and a job but he doesnt want any help, believe me ive asked

**RoyaltyTM** : well, atleast he isnt with his stepdad

_ GlowStick started a conversation with ChainsandWhipsExciteMe _

**GlowStick** : um drake?

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : yeah sam

**GlowStick** : you told diana and caine didn’t you?

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : how did you

**GlowStick** : you call me sammy, but anyway i need you to come to the hospital 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : why are you okay

**GlowStick** : yeah im fine just its easier to explain if youre here

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : i can have caine drive me

**GlowStick** : no just walk please no one else 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : okay ill be there in like fourteen minutes

_ HowToAdult _

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : lets talk about families

**RadioStar** : why?

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : because i want to 

**cantbevinced** : oh! I have four little siblings! Choo is the oldest after me, he’s 12, 

**cantbevinced** : then there’s peace, shes 7 and very adventurous 

**cantbevinced** : next is bowie, hes 5, and loves mlp 

**cantbevinced** : lastly is pixie, shes 3 and beats me up 

**RadioStar** : mutiple kids run in my family, im actually a triplet , the middle one

**RadioStar** : im thinking about inviting my sis and her family for lunch with e/one

**Rich_Bitch** : im the youngest of nine whole siblings, youngest of 3 half mom, youngest of 12 of half dad 

**GlowStick** : that’s a lot, i have my twin and my dad so thats like it 

**army_brat** : you have me, sam. I have three older sisters, no nephews or nieces. 

**Too-Smart-For-You** : well everyone knows about my five year old brother, Petey and his autism

**GlowStick** : also do you want me to babysit for friday w/diana

**tiredofyou** : please, only kid out of three marriages w/mom, five marriages w/dad

**tiredofyou** : i do have some step siblings tho

**$cammin** : one older bro in jail, no mom, left when i was baby

**Book-Zeke** : only kid dad and mom are getting seprated

**PureTM** : I have 7 older brothers, 3 younger brothers, 5 older sisters, and one younger sister. 

**poolboy** : only kid, mom is dead

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : you didnt have to tell us that, only kid 

**poolboy** : why not

**Too-Smart-For-You** : why did you wanna talk about families drake?

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : I FOUND MY DAD

**RoyaltyTM** : WHAT WHEN

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : today!!!!!!!!!!!

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : so what had happened was when i was 4 they were fighting and my dad left and got in to a car crash, then a coma, and woke up amnesia, 

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : Sam and Taylor thought he looked like me, then called me to come to the hospital to take a dna test, then they called my grandpa who i havent seen since i was 2 and im so excited 

**GlowStick** : taylor left but im still here, 

**poolboy** : wait what about your mom

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : uh, well after dad was legally declared dead, she remarried my stepdad and i got my two half sibs

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : lilly, six, hates me, but loves my mom

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : dairen, 2 loves me hates his dad

**GlowStick** : drake turn around

**RoyaltyTM** : what happened sam

**GlowStick** : i huy who vaguely looks like drakes dad came in 

**GlowStick** : IM CRYING HELP

**Too-Smart-For-You** : what happened

**GlowStick** : drakes dad name is DRAKE MERWIN, 

**tiredofyou** : omg

**GlowStick** : and DRAKES GRANDPA IS DRAKE MERWIN LAKJKLAFJ

**GlowStick** : i asked if he was the third and he went ‘no im the fifteenth, my great whatever started the tradition’

**RoyaltyTM** : IM SCREAMING

**onyourleft,boii** : i still wanna talk about our fams, im the second daughter of my moms second marriage

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : im a only kid, but i have this one cousin who i adore

**4feetofkickass** : im the only kid but my parents kinda hate each other, they just ont get a divorce

**SANICSCREAM** : my dad left before i was born just me and my mom

**Pineapples** : same, my aunt sometimes comes by tho

**RoyaltyTM** : okay but Drake’s name situation is more pretentious than anything that i could do 

**tiredofyou** : maybe tbd

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : im the youngest of three boys! Both my parents are only children

**BRUISESANDBITEMARKS** : both sides of my family have a tradition of having three kids, marrying someone with two sibs, them have three kids as it goes down

**i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : my parents, plus me and john 

**goldengirl** : only kid of parents that never married, and they just stuck me at coates to forgot me, thankfully i transferred to public 

**DontTrustMe** : middle daughter of a pedophile kinda fucked up because he never paid attention to me and idk its fucked up cause i want his attention

**GlowStick** : 

**gunsandcigarettes** : only kid of parents that married when they realized mom was pregnant, grandpa is best grandpa 

**Black_Roses** : only kid, parents married

**Bleeding_Violets** : parents never married, mom got a sperm bank, i have hundreds of half sibs out there. 

**GlowStick** : my phone is dying see yall later

_ Coates_Bad_Trio _

**ChainsandWhipsExciteMe** : guess who stole drakes phone,,

**RoyaltyTM** : SAMURAI

**RoyaltyTM** : GDI 

**tiredofyou** : sammy, when are we gonna have are meeting?

_ ChainsandWhipsExciteMe changed name to DirtyMinded _

**tiredofyou** : is he gonna be mad

**DirtyMinded** : prob not he does want to change it anyway 

**DirtyMinded** : he’d prob like that i picked one out just for him

**tiredofyou** : see you say that you dont like him yet you do things that will give him the impression that you do like him

**DirtyMinded** : See that’s the thing,,,, drake is just teasing he doesnt have a crush on me

**RoyaltyTM** : uh huh, 

**RoyaltyTM** : anyway, Quinns birthday is coming up and I need ideas, or you to take my ideas and tell me which ones are bad

**DirtyMinded** : alright shoot me those ideas, and in general

**RoyaltyTM** : okay so 4 months of dating,,, a car is too much right lik hes 15 he needs to drive for his lincense

**DirtyMinded** : yes a car a bit too much, maybe next christmas, next

**RoyaltyTM** : a small vacation over winter like? A weekend w/his mom and junk too ofc

**tiredofyou** : hmmmm a bit more than the car is

**RoyaltyTM** : some jewelry? Like a bracelet

**DirtyMinded** : he’ll lose it and feel bad, he has butter fingers 

**RoyaltyTM** : suggestions?

**tiredofyou** : that’s all you had?

**RoyaltyTM** : im not that good at thinking about this stuff

**DirtyMinded** : a dildo 

**RoyaltyTM** : BOIII

**DirtyMinded** : a vibe?

**tiredofyou** : a vape pen

**DirtyMinded** : suck his dick for free

**RoyaltyTM** : nm ill ask dad

**RoyaltyTM** : and sammy, i already do that for free ;)

**DirtyMinded** : i mean i assumed he pad you for your services… quinn doesnt seem like the guy to skip out of the check

**DirtyMinded** : get him a puppy

**tiredofyou** : how did we go from dildos to puppies

**DirtyMinded** : idk verything always puppies

**RoyaltyTM** : what type of puppy 

**DirtyMinded** : he actually prefers birds so get him one of those

**DrtyMinded** : Drake’s gp is gonna take me home then drake so bye bitches~

**RoyaltyTM** : WHAT TYPE OF BIRD THO

**DirtyMinded** sent the image [thisone]

**RoyaltyTM** : drake that isnt funny give the phone back to sam

**DirtyMinded** : he is about to fall to sleep no

_ AmaxingMoofs _

**GlowStick** : so does anyone know where to find a job?

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : why samuel

**GlowStick** : i want some money? I dont want caine to pay for me forever so job

**poolboy** : wendys is hiring

**GlowStick** : albert would fire me

**poolboy** : can you get albert to pay you

**GlowStick** : ive been doing it for free for a while it’ll feel to ask for money suddenly

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : what about that surf shop on the beach

**GlowStick** : they’re full staffed already asked

**poolboy** : do porn that’s what i would do

**GlowStick** : sis, we’ve been knew

**poolboy** : omfg i hate you

**GlowStick** : night bois

**poolboy** : night sammie

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hc's are mine only, come hmu about it 
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/writing-is-gone


	14. oo boi its another one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background characters man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL!!!!! It's the one year anniversary of this fic, like I'm shaking because I'm freaking out so much. 
> 
> A little prize at the bottom notes.

_ GlowStick added Pineapples into a groupchat. _

**GlowStick** : !!! QUINN GET YOUR THIN SURFING ASS ON HERE

**Pineapples** : MY ASS ISNT THIN SAM

**GlowStick** : YES TF IT IS BUT GUESS WHAT

**Pineapples** : WHAT SAM

_ GlowStick added Manic, and Sonia into the chat. _

**Manic** : why just pineapples?

**GlowStick** : intorducing the two, the amazing, the twins, 

**Pineapples** : AHHAHAHAH I SWEAR SAM IF YOURE FUCKING WITH ME I WILL KILL YOU

**Sonia** : Anna Geli

**Manic** : and Emma Geli

**Pineapples** : THE OG SQUAD IS BACK TOGETHER BABY

_ GlowStick renamed the chat to The_OG_Squad _ .

**Pineapples** : so im bi, and i have a bf.

**Sonia** : im bi, too! And a gf!

**Manic** : BI BUT SINGLE SO SAM BE MY WINGMAN?

**GlowStick** : FOREVER AND ALWAys

**GlowStick** : Also pan

**Pineapples** : Sam how tf did you get their info

_ Sonia sent an image [bich,weback]. _

**Pineapples** : omw,

**GlowStick** : Get in this group hug!!!!

**GlowStick** : im gonna add them to TNCF

**Pineapples** : YES BITCH 

_ TheNoogettyClusterFuck _

_ GlowStick added Sonia, and Manic into TheNoogettyClusterFuck. _

**Sonia** : who made the name?

**GlowStick** : me!

**Sonia** : SAM ILYSM

**SANICSCREAM** : hi my siblings

**Manic** : lkfslakf fuck

**Pineapples** : wait why are youre guys names sonia and manic

**Sonia** : in this old sonic cartoon, sonic is a triplet with a pink hedgehog (me), and a green one (emma). 

**Manic** : we chose these names because we absorbed our triplet in the womb, so rip sonic

**GlowStick** : AWW ILYALL SO MUCH

**SANICSCREAM** : can i be your shadow?

**Manic** : get in here faker

**RoyaltyTM** : what is going on?

**GlowStick** : HTAT MY TWIN CAINE

**Manic** : BICH SINCE WHEN

**GlowStick** : SINCE LAST YEAR, WE MET AND NOW WE LIKE EACH OTHER

**Pineapples** : And my bf. 

**Sonia** : @GlowStick gc with just the twins

**GlowStick** : NICE!!!!

**RoyaltyTM** : NO!!!!

**GlowStick** : FINE LATER

**gunsandcigarettes** : who are these people, 

**goldengirl** : i’ll ask yall questions for the chart later I am tired

**onyourleft,boii** : sam

**GlowStick** : yes?

**onyourleft,boii** : can i add my ex-gf, and her gf? 

**GlowStick** : just send me their stuff you don’t have admin privileges

**tiredofyou** : why would you want your ex-gf in here?

**onyourleft,boii** : to suffer with me

**tiredofyou** : im glad that you’re that petty bri

**onyourleft,boii** : thnx

_ GlowStick added Prophetic_Dreams, and StillAnEmoPhase into the chat. _

**Prophetic_Dreams** : whats going on?

**onyourleft,boii** : hi welcome to hell can i take your order?

**StillAnEmoPhase** : gdi Berenson

**gunsandcigarettes** : i’m sorry whom?

**onyourleft,boii** : that’s my last name, 

**onyourleft,boii** : I’ve swear ive told yall that before

**tiredofyou** : u ever just meet someone who is the embodiment of the first name

**RoyaltyTM** : Computer Jack

**gunsandcigarettes** : cookie

**tiredofyou** : panda

**tiredofyou** : bug

**GlowStick** : talyor

**DirtyMinded** : penny

**Rich_Bitch** : howard

**$cammin** : ALBERT YOU KNOW MY LAST NAME

**Rich_Bitch** : but still

**poolboy** : Hunter

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : you rite

**Black_Roses** : Jezzie

**Bleeding_Violets** : Sinder

**Pineapples** : Roger

**GlowStick** : guess what ya bich just did

**GlowStick** : guess what ya bich just got like it’s nothing

**GlowStick** : guess what ya bich is now

_ GlowStick sent the image [praiseme] _

**Pineapples** : you got a job!!!

**GlowStick** : yeah, the arts and crafts store right next to day care

**i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : i work at the day care 

**i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : i will talk to you and take you there

**GlowStick** : demanding not asking 

**i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : yes

**GlowStick** : fine

**BRUISES &BITEMARKS** : mood

_ Human_Krew _

**Z-Baby** : @The-Better-Steven-Universe talk to us you bitch

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : what do you want

**Mona-Lisa** : for you to get rid of those freaks 

**Blue-Paladin** : yeah u use 2 b cool and now u suc

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : they are my friends and they like me for me 

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : unlike you guys they aren’t upset about my powers 

**TheTurkArmy** : did we ever say we were upset about your powers?

**Z-Baby** : I believe that we were actually upset about you not telling us

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : you guys were talking about attacking Duck because he got powers

**Blue-Paladin** : who?

**Mona-Lisa** : the human drill

**Blue-Paladin** : oh kay

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : another thing, Duck is a person, he doesn’t like that name so knock it off

**Z-Baby** : so you think that just cause you got powers now you all big and bad?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : and you think that just cause you got some friends that your racist opinion matters?

**TheTurkArmy** : we stick together unlike you

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : then kick me off the chat!

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : my friends actually care about unlike you guys!

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : all you guys cared about was my basement so you guys could smoke weed and watch football on my dad’s tv

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : please kick me off this racist, arrogant, stupid, ignorant chat

**Z-Baby** : stupid? How the FUCK are we stupid to want safety from the freaks

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : you dont need to attack others for safety, they don’t want to hurt anyone, you guys are the ones hurting others

**Blue-Paladin** : we haven’t hurt anyone

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : you guys planned to attack Duck!

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : and Turk made a grilled duck joke

**TheTurkArmy** : we were high

_ The-Better-Steven-Universe started a conversation with GlowStick: _

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : sam i need your help

**GlowStick** : anything

**GlowStick** : in the month i’ve known you i will kill for you

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : well, we aren’t at the part yet, but I’m gonna add you to a chat and can you convince them to kick me out?

**GlowStick** : sure!

_ Human_Krew _

_ The-Better-Steven-Universe added GlowStick into the chat.  _

**Z-Baby** : who the fuck is this?

**GlowStick** : who are yall?

**Z-Baby** : Zil

**GlowStick** : ew, hunter i thought you liked me 

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : i do!

**GlowStick** : Then why am I in the chat with sewer trash

**Mona-Lisa** : excuse me

**GlowStick** : youre excused

**Blue-Paladin** : dont talk 2 her like that

**GlowStick** : after you stop typing like youre on myspace in 2005, geez

**Z-Baby** : why don’t you just leave?

**GlowStick** : kick hunter out of the chat and then ill leave

**TheTurkArmy** : wow hunter can’t fight your own battles so you get some freak to do it for you

**GlowStick** : I’m only a freak in the sheets (◕‿-)

**Z-Baby** : no one here is gay, you fag

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : im bi, so stfu

**ANTY** : no you’re not you just think you are because the freaks messed with your mind

**GlowStick** : No one is gay here, huh, Zil? Well, I guess you only like guys when they’re passed out high, and telling you to stop and fighting back huh?

**GlowStick** : 2nd, no one can mess with each others minds, hunter is who he says he is, 

**Z-Baby** : i dont fucking know what the fuck youre talking about you fucking dyke 

**GlowStick** : see, being in 4 classes with you taught me something

**GlowStick** : the more you cuss, the more scared you are.

**Z-Baby** : oh so that’s what this is about. You like me.

**GlowStick** : i dont like rapists

**GlowStick** : or idiots too stupid to know how to kick someone out of a chat

**Z-Baby** : everyone here knows how to do that

**GlowStick** : then do it.

_ ANTY kicked The-Better-Steven-Universe out of Human_Krew. _

_ GlowStick started a conversation with The-Better-Steven-Universe _

**GlowStick** : go to your profile, click the x, type their group chat and it’ll block them and their chat for you

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : thank you!

_ Human_Krew _

**Z-Baby** : antonie you idiot 

**GlowStick** : leave my friends alone

_ GlowStick left Human_Krew. _

_ The-Better-Steven-Univese started a conversation with GlowStick. _

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : sam can i ask a question?

**GlowStick** : about?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : what you said to Zil

**GlowStick** : a friend of mine was at some party with him, and Zil started to y’know touch him, and 

**GlowStick** : my friend was pushing Zil away and Zil gave him a black eye, 

**GlowStick** : we’re in group therapy, and he’s homeschooled now,

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : Tell him I wish I was there to help

**GlowStick** : dont worry you dont know him, but i think he does need a little bit of more friends.

_ GlowStick added Manic, Sonia, and RoyaltyTM into the chat.  _

_ GlowStick named the chat Twinses.  _

**RoyaltyTM:** im not even shocked

**Manic** : we should all get smoothies

**GlowStick** : emma you hate socializing

**Manic** : yeah but me and you can spot out cuties

**Sonia** : and i can video talk to my gf!

**RoyaltyTM** : then I’m bringing Quinn 

**Manic** : the og squad + Caine

**RoyaltyTM** : wait what

**GlowStick** : see the four of us were bffs since we were like 8 and then the geli’s HAD to move 

**Sonia** : sam we’ve apologized please we’re sorry 

**RoyaltyTM** : then how are you guys back

**Manic** : our dad got a better job so we moved back

**Sonia** : also caine were half way there so 

**RoyaltyTM** : im omw

_ TheNoogettyClusterFuck _

**RoyaltyTM:** this is a callout post to sam

**GlowStick** : what did i do

**RoyaltyTM** : he still has pokemon go on his phone

**tireofyou** : omfg i thought sam did something acutally problematic

**Rich_Bitch** : im sorry to tell you this but that is problematic

**gunsandcigarettes** : i mean??? I knew

**RoyaltyTM** : and you haven’t repossesed his phone for it yet??

**Manic** : unlike you other people have some chill

**Sonia** : he deadass gasped in the middle of smoothie place and spat all over me and Emma

**GlowStick** : guys what are words that start with d

**tiredofyou** : diana

**GlowStick** : besides names

**DirtyMinded** : dirty

**Rich_Bitch** : dicks

**Sonia** : douchebags 

**Pineapples** : damn

**tiredofyou** : doodles

**StillAnEmoPhase** : that got weird and unweird real fast

**RoyaltyTM** : dumbbutts

**Pineapples** : see you freaked out about pokemon go, and yet you need to get called out on your lack of cursing, i mean ive heard edilio curse

**PureTM** : I’ve only cursed in Spanish.

**GlowStick** : man i havent heard from you on the chat in like years

**PureTM** : I dont want to deal with your drama and petty fighting. 

**Pineapples** ; i understand

**DirtyMinded** : sam why did you need this

**GlowStick** : they are 3 people that names start with d and i need word to go with them and now im narrowing it down. 

**onyourleft,boii** : whom?

**tiredofyou** : so theres me, drake, duck, darha and dekka, so whose the unnamed two?

**GlowStick** : you’re forgetting David

**DirtyMinded** : who the fuck is David

**RoyaltyTM** : SAMURAI

**GlowStick** : that’s caine’s birthname? 

**GlowStick** : he seriously didn’t tell yall

**tiredofyou** : no he fuckign did not

**DirtyMinded** : guys we’re the 3 d’s 

**tiredofyou** : caine change our gc to 3 d’s do it

**RoyaltyTM** : sighs

_ Coates_Bad_Trio _

_ RoyaltyTM changed the chat name to The_3_Ds. _

_ TheNoogettyClusterFuck _

**RoyaltyTM** : happy?

**DirtyMinded** : the 3ds

**GlowStick** : guys we still havent decided what the 3 d’s stand for

**DirtyMinded** : if you stand for nothing, then what’ll you fall for

**tiredofyou** : i call dicks

**DirtyMinded** : im dumbasses

**GlowStick** : david wait are you

**RoyaltyTM** : my name is caine, and im not doing it

**Pineapples** : he’s douchebags

**RoyaltyTM** : Quinn you’re suppose to back me up

**Pineapple** : no im suppose to kiss it better after they make fun of you

**RoyaltyTM** : i

**RoyaltyTM** : okay

**Manic** : @DirtyMinded was that a hamilton reference?

**DirtyMinded** : YES 

**GlowStick** : bich we actually recited non-stop in one of our chats but switched the names

**Manic** : bitch

**Pineapples** : im so glad im not in the chat

**RoyaltyTM** : i wish i wasn’t in that chat to be honest

**tiredofyou** : caine you shortened to tbh

**RoyaltyTM** : i dont care

**tiredofyou** : idc

**Sonia** : wait do you not like hamilton quinn 

**Pineapples** : its not like i hate it but

**GlowStick** : shun him

**Manic** : shun him

**Pineapple** : I JUST LIKE BMC MORE OKAY

**Sonia** : everybody’s got a red solo cup

**Pineapples** : AHH

**GlowStick** : but can we agree the best off-broadway is Percy Jackson

**tiredofyou** : okay i know that one

**GlowStick** : it’s good rite

**tiredofyou** : last day of summer is my favorite 

**RoyaltyTM** : haven’t heard it 

**Pineapples** : ill send you the link to full soundtrack

_ TheBoysTM _

**Cookie-Monster** : babe please tell me you had home ecs today

**Panda-Bear** : yeah why

**Cookie-Monster** : instead of a cookie monster, i am panda’s homemade cooking monster

**Panda-Bear** : did you hear

**Cookie-Monster** : what happened

**Panda-Bear** : the geli twins are back

**Cookie-Monster** : they are going to kill us, we teased sam and quinn while their gone, 

**Cookie-Monster** : do you remember in 4th grade when orc pulled on quinn’s hat?

**Panda-Bear** : Anna jumped off the swingsets and kicked orc in the head

**Cookie-Monster** : while Emma punched howard in the dick

**Panda-Bear** : do you think if we give them some of my food theyll spare us

**Cookie-Monster** : is giving up your food the same as living at all

**Panda-Bear** : omg youre so fuckign dramatic

_ TheNoogettyClusterFuck _

**Sonia** : so panda came out of nowhere and gave me and emma food ??? whats was that about

**tiredofyou** : oh man, you lucky hoe, cookie usually steals all of panda’s home ec food

**Manic** : why tho

**tiredofyou** : why does cookie takes it or why did he give it to you?

**Manic** : the second one

**$cammin** : so you won’t kill them

**Sonia** : why would we kill them

**$cammin** : they teased Sam and Quinn for a little after you guys left

**Manic** : the food better be good

**$cammin** : i mean I STILL HAVE THE SCAR FROM 4TH GRADE SO

**Manic** : you have a scar on your dick

**Book-Zeke** : o my god

**DirtyMinded** : wait explain

**Manic** : in 4th grade orc and howard was teasing sammy and quinnie so me and anna beat them up

**Sonia** : i kicked orc in the head, and emma punched howard in the other head

**Book-Zeke** : i used to have the scar then i turned rocky

_ GlowStick started a conversation with poolboy. _

**GlowStick** : rubber duckyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

**poolboy** : what

**GlowStick** : i think we need to do something to cheer up hunter

**poolboy** : why whats wrong

**GlowStick** : his old ‘friends’ are harrasing him, and so i thought we could make a gc with him 

**poolboy** : what why we tho you could just make one without anyone’s approval

**GlowStick** : i want to use it to trash talk su

**poolboy** : omg hunter loves trashing su then do it

_ GlowStick added poolboy, The-Better-Steven-Universe, BRUISES&BITEMARKS, RoyaltyTM, Pineapples, and i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now into the chat. _

_ GlowStick named the chat StephenGalaxy. _

**GlowStick** : this chat is used for trash talking steven universe.

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : thank god i need something to talk about

**Pineapples** : okay so like mary and darha are obv ruby and sapphire

**GlowStick** : which one is which is the question

**RoyaltyTM** : mary is saph, darha is ruby

**BRUISES &BITEMARKS** : sam is lapis sorry i dont make the rules

**i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : quinn is peridot

**Pineapples** : duck is connie fite me on this

**poolboy** : why are we assigning ourselves to the characters

**GlowStick** : because i said

**GlowStick** : caine is either lars or jasper

**RoyaltyTM** : jasper please 

**Pineapples** : what about pearl and garnet, and amethyst

**i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : and greg

**GlowStick** : caine you are now amthyst

**RoyaltyTM** : even tho she’s the 2nd worst out of them, you ship her w/peridot thats why

**GlowStick** : it’s one of the ships that was completely beautiful in the show

**BRUISES &BITEMARKS** : um ruby/sapphire

**GlowStick** : more romance w/them then we shall talk

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : okay so then, jasper can be edilio

**GlowStick** : AHHHH

**RoyaltyTM** : wait before you add him lets find out who else we are adding into the mess

**Pineapples** : diana is garnet, i mean she does look like a fusion of mary/darha

**i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now** : ill take that as a compliment

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : drake is pearl

**GlowStick** : conspiracy theory?

**RoyaltyTM** : you’re probably right

**poolboy** : so we have pearl (drake), garnet (diana), amethyst (caine), steven (hunter), connie (me), lapis (sam), peridot (quinn), and jasper (edilio). 

**BRUISES** &BITEMARKS: so greg, the diamonds, and anyone else?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : any human expect connie and greg are basically pointless, so no

**GlowStick** : do we really want the diamonds, tho?

**Pineapples** : sam

**Pineapples** : the twins can be yaknow the diamonds

**GlowStick** : EMMA IS BLUE, MY DIAMOND 

**Pineapples** : ANNA IS YELLOW, NICE

**RoyaltyTM** : but you guys leave homeworld

_ GlowStick added Manic, Sonia, DirtyMinded, tiredofyou, PureTM into the chat. _

**PureTM** : What’s going on?

**GlowStick** : scroll up

**Manic** : neat

**Sonia** : you didn’t scroll up

**Manic** : how do you know

**Sonia** : im sitting right next to you 

**tiredofyou** : im that petty

**DirtyMinded** : why am i pearl

**GlowStick:** because i said

**Pineapples** : goddammit sam

_ TheGCThatWeUseToTalkAboutTheOtherGC _

**GlowStick** : should we add caine to this

**tiredofyou** : i mean we make fun of him alot in here

**Pineapples** : yeah but mostly sam

**gunsandcigarettes** : anyway we def need ed

**GlowStick** : he hate being called that and you know it

_ GlowStick added PureTM, RoyaltyTM, and DirtyMinded into the chat. _

**tiredofyou** : why did you add drake

**GlowStick** : felt like it

**PureTM** : I just want a nap.

**GlowStick** : sleep you beautiful creature you

_ FIGHT_ME_SANJIT _

**gunsandcigarettes** : i need someone to babysit sam for me

**a_train_mf** : No.

**cantbevinced** : lana I already have a job, i cant do it

**gunsandcigarette** : i know for a fact that you dont have to work next friday so you are coming and helping me watch sam at the checkups

**cantbevinced** : choo youre helping or ill tell jen that youre the one who broke her vase

**a_train_mf** : I guess, like she has 300 of those vases.

**cantbevinced** : glad we came to an agreeance

_ AllTheBadGuys _

_ tiredofyou added Praying-Mantis into the chat. _

**DirtyMinded** : who the fuck is this

**Praying-Mantis** : bug

**DontTrustMe** : oh the pervert

_ TheNoogettyClusterFuck _

_ tiredofyou added Praying-Mantis into the chat. _

**tiredofyou** : i know you like all your friends and their friends in one place 

**GlowStick** : thank you

**DirtyMinded** : guys im dying

**$cammin** : what’s going on

**DirtyMinded** : my parents made me get up at the ass crack of dawn on Sunday just to go to church with my cousins

**Too-Smart-For-You** : oh my god

**tiredofyou** : why do they want you to go to church

**DirtyMinded** : so ill be late with hanging out with my dad today

**GlowStick** : that type of petty is not welcomed here

**RoyaltyTM** : do you know what you should do

**DirtyMinded** : run away

**GlowStick** : NO!!!!!

**RoyaltyTM** : pretend like youre burning when you first enter

**tiredofyou** : bruh

**GlowStick** : @Too-Smart-For-You, please record it for me

**DirtyMinded** : imma gonna do it

**Pineapples** : did caine gain some of Sam’s humor?

**RoyaltyTM** : no?

**RoyaltyTM** : i just hate brittney

**tiredofyou** : BITCH

**tiredofyou** : ME 

**poolboy** : astrid share the video 

**Too-Smart-For-You** : he’s not here yet calm down

**PureTM** : Are you actually going to record this?

**Too-Smart-For-You** : yeah, petey’s home this week with mom so he wont freak at drakes screaming

**GlowStick** : he doesn’t go any more?

**Too-Smart-For-You** : the pastor screaming and stomping freaks him out and so we thought it be good to take turns watching him on sundays

**GlowStick** : need any help just come get me

**DirtyMinded** : alright were here get ready

**poolboy** : guys it’s been 15 minutes what happened

**DirtyMinded** : my parents sent me back to the fucking car im dying of laughter and heatstroke.

**GlowStick** : come over to my house

**DirtyMinded** : i dont know where you live?

_ Too-Smart-For-You uploaded a video [samisthiswhathesoundslikeinbed _ ]

**GlowStick** : how should i know asstrid?

**tiredofyou** : astrid out here taking names

**Too-Smart-For-You** : I’m sick of the pining

**GlowStick** : theres’ no fucking pining.

**Too-Smart-For-You** : i cant tell if my dad is going to ground me or take me out for ice cream

**tiredofyou** : hwy

**Too-Smart-For-You** : my family kinda hates the dougals

**Too-Smart-For-You** : they said if we weren’t sinner petey wouldn’t be ‘sick’

**GlowStick** : omw to fite

**Too-Smart-For-You** : its fine sam

**GlowStick** : still omw to pick drake up

**DirtyMinded** : ayyyyy, also i hate my cousin too

**GlowStick** : so we hate her yes? But drake has her on his phone and you the ruels

**tiredofyou** : sam no

**Pineapples** : sam did the thing with rued but with ruels

_ GlowStick added Accept-God into the chat. _

**Rich_Bitch** : never

_ SANICSCREAM added 4feetofkickass, a_train_mf, Accept-God, Black-Roses, Bleeding-Violets, Cookie-Monster, Manic, Panda-Bear, Praying-Mantis, Prophetic_Dreams, Sonia, StillAnEmoPhase, the-gay-palette-suits-me-better into a chat. _

_ SANICSCREAM named the chat BackgroundCharactersAreImportant2. _

**Manic** : who said i was a background character

**Panda-Bear** : okay wait who are these people and how do you have my info 

**SANICSCREAM** : panda its andrew

**Panda-Bear** : okay nvm then

**Sonia** : can everyone please tell me their names it scares me not knowing

**a_train_mf** : my name is virtue

**Manic** : no offense but that is the weirdest name ever

**a_train_mf** : its not my birth name so i dont mind

**4feetofkickass** : i am computer jack

**SANICSCREAM** : everyone calls him cj tho

**4feetofkickass** : silence drew

**Praying-Mantis** : everyone calls me bug so

**SANICSCREAM** : he also has a turn on for women beating him up hence his name

**Praying-Mantis** : i mean youre not wrong

**a_train_mf** : disgusting?

**Accept-God** : oh! do you need to talk to god?

**a_train_mf** : no thanks

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : wait a minute

**the-gay-palette-suits-me-better** : cookie, panda, and virtue, like sanj’s brother

**a_train_mf** : yeah that me

**Black-Roses** ; how do you know sanjit;s brother 

**SANICSCREAM** : none of your business

**Bleeding-Violets** : terrifying

**Praying-Mantis** : add them to tncf

**SANICSCREAM** : i dont have admin 

**Bleeding-Violets** : then give it to sam

_ TheNoogetyClusterFuck _

**SANICSCREAM:** sam im gonna send info your way so you can add them in here

**GlowStick** : noice! people!

**DirtyMinded** : like are they even people sam wont add to this chat

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : yup

**DirtyMinded** : whom?

**The-Better-Steven-Universe** : you really dont want to know

_ GlowStick added Panda-Bear, Cookie-Monster, and a_train_mf into the chat. _

**a_train_mf** : someone please kick me

**SANICSCREAM** : out of the group chat or in rl

**a_train_mf** : both

**cantbevinced** : ahhhhhh choo

**DirtyMinded** : your brother chew?

**DirtyMinded** : autocorrect

**a_train_mf** : yeah that me

**gunsandcigarettes** : great so you guys can suffer with us

**Cookie-Monster** : LANA!!!! hi

**tiredofyou** : panda? Nice to hear from ya

**GlowStick** : wait a minute 

**GlowStick** : you guys are friends?

**gunsandcigarettes** : yes sam

**GlowStick** : i feel betrayed?

**GlowStick** : you kno i like having a lot of people in one chat to deal with things it helps meeeeeee

**tiredofyou** : sorry, ill get you food saturday

**GlowStick** : this is acceptable sacrifice

_ ImDyingSquirtle _

**Rich_Bitch** : guys????? Im dyinggggggggg com one

**Rich_Bitch** : please before they see me

**$cammin** : before who sees you?

**Rich_Bitch** : MERPLE

**Book-Zeke** : what

_ Rich_Bitch sent the image [theshiphassailed] _

**$cammin** : is sam in Drake’s lap???? Omg 

**Book-Zeke** : anyone can literally see them? Are they official?

**Rich_Bitch** : idk im hiding

**$cammin** : ask them!!!!

**Rich_Bitch** : ok!!!!

**Book-Zeke** : its been five minutes al are you alive

**Rich_Bitch** : please don’t call me that

**Rich_Bitch** : they are secertly dating so dont tell caine or like anyone, and drake therthen all of us including the dude at the counter if it got out

**Rich_Bitch** : according to sam, he isnt ready to come out in front of everyone and be in a relationship for others to judge

**$cammin** : sam or drake?

**Rich_Bitch** : sam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, since it is the anniversary, for a fun kind of idea, the first person to guess my favorite GONE character, I will write them a story (depending on how interesting the idea is it may or may not be multi-chaptered). 
> 
> Hint: they have my favorite chatname in the series :) 
> 
> Also next chapter contains a side-story with some characters no one's seen yet.


	15. SIDEQUESTING IS MY LIFE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monster characters, so spoilers for the books.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS FOR MONSTER!!!!!!!
> 
> Napalm - Tom
> 
> If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot - Shade
> 
> NYOOOM - Armo
> 
> *lightsabersounds* - Malik
> 
> All-Women-Are-Queens - Cruz
> 
> V.V - Vincent 
> 
> Art-is-Pain - Justin

_ MONSTERS_&_HEATHENS _

**Napalm** : can we please change the fucking chat name

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : no :3c

**Napalm** : fuck you 

**NYOOOM** : hey before we do the daily dose of ‘this groupchat and their problems’ can someone give me the answers to number 7 on menik’s homwork

***lightsabersounds*** : it’s d

**Napalm** : why the fuck do you help them cheat

**Napalm** : your mister goody two-shoes

***lightsabersounds*** : i’m stressed beyond caring tommy

**Napalm** : don’t start that bullshit again

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : @NYOOOM did you finish the paper for hiks

**NYOOOM** : lol no 

***lightsabersounds*** : that’s in two hours

**NYOOOM** : i can fudge it

**V.V** : silence

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : did you remember you medicene today vincent

**V.V** : i just took it.

**NYOOOM** : where’s our seventh member?

**Art-is-Pain** : did someone call me?

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : go back to england justin

**Art-is-Pain** : I NEVER WENT THERE

**V.V** : hey how do you not start crying because you saw a flower

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : are you sure you took your meds vincent

**V.V** : yes,,, lemme ask my mom

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : so the plans for today still on?

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : cruz no 1 rule in this groupchat 

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : never mention anything in front of Tom

**Napalm** : what are you doing

***lightsabersounds*** : field trip

**Napalm** : that is even more terrifying where are you going

**V.V** : she said yes

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : vincent, tell us about your new book

**Napalm** : shade

**NYOOOM** : even scarier question is the trio going?

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : Armo… sweetheart, you said you’d drive us

**NYOOOM** : That’s today? Well shit

**V.V** : the great gatsby

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : you can still come right

**NYOOOM** : oh yeah i just need gas

***lightsabersounds*** : joy, justin you still coming?

**Napalm** : wait a mintue whos NOT coming?

**V.V** : it’s okay

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : hmmmmm, you

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : depends on vincent mood today

**V.V** : feel like a 2

***lightsabersounds*** : have you had breakfast yet

**V.V** : no

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : I can make you lunch, sandwiches!!!!!

**V.V** : ≧◡≦

**NYOOOM** : vincent and cruz are the only pure beings left alive 

**Art-is-Pain** : breath if your not surpised

**Napalm** : where are you going

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : you don’t need to know

***lightsabersounds*** : hoe don’t do it

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** :  **THOT**

***lightsabersounds*** : oh my god

**NYOOOM** : STOP USING OLD MEMES GODDAMIT

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : *stuffing garlic bread into my purse* i got to go

**Art-is-Pain** : cruz is the only one left allowed to use memes

**NYOOOM** : anyone who would marry cruz speak now or forever hold your peace

**Napalm** : okay no

**NYOOOM** : the rest of us are happily married to cruz and you can eat ass Tom

**Art-is-Pain** : the first time i met cruz i wanted to do drawings of them but they said no :/

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : you wanted to do nude modeling

**NYOOOM** : AJDLSJ

***lightsabersounds*** : i’d pay for that

**Art-is-Pain** : the pictures or cruz to model nude infront of you

***lightsabersounds*:** why not both

**NYOOOM** : first of all i was married to cruz first, so if anything id get to have her love and affection

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : that’s what id thought you say

***lightsabersounds*** : who’s scary shade or the babadook

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : someone change the chat icon to our gay icon, the babdook

**Napalm** : you can’t i have admin privileges

**V.V** : so do i 

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : ayyy vincent

**NYOOOM** : holy shit he #didthat

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : vincent can be our new queen, i resign

**NYOOOM** : NO

***lightsabersounds*** : co-queens

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : *softly gasps in spanish* you right

**Napalm** : we can come back to this after school

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : no we aren’t

_ If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot started a conversation with All-Women-Are-Queens _

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : you told tom where to find armo’s car 

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : and now he’s coming with us

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : all seven of us in Armo’s speedracer

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : he gave me the detention look

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : seriously?

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : seriously.

_ MONSTERS_&_HEATHENS _

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : cruz is off the hook for telling tom

**NYOOOM** : why tho

***lightsabernoises*:** let me guess, detention look

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : yeah

**NYOOOM** : TOM WHY 

**Napalm** : i needed information

**V.V** : not cool 

**Napalm** : cruz ill buy you sonic if you get them to lay off

**NYOOOM** : YOU CANT MENTION SONIC AND NOT BUY ME SOME

***lightsabersounds*** : you still owe me money, but i’ll take a slushy

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : i want a pretzel, with cheese

**V.V:** can i have chicken strips

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : Fuck your chicken strips!

**V.V** : rude

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : It’s a vine vincent, shade means no harm on it.

**V.V** : oh

**V.V** : sorry

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : its fine

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : i want tater tots

**Napalm** : the usual table for lunch?

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : yes

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : better go now Tom, the lines are long

**Napalm** : how can you make everything sound like a threat 

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : it’s her superpower

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : given to me by alien gods

**V.V** : aliens aren’t real

***lightsabersounds*** : we’re just picking on tom, vincent

**V.V** : this is allowed

**NYOOOM** : HA vincent even makes fun of tom 

**Napalm** : so what exactly are planning on doing in perdido beach

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : my mom’s triplet brother’s twin sons live there

***lightsabersounds*** : so your cousins?

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : if you wanna call them that

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : cool, but what exactly are we gonna do there

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : im gonna find out gave them their powers

**Napalm** : the government can do that

**V.V** : can they can they really

**NYOOOM** : doesn’t both your parents work for the govt vu?

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : and yours shade

**V.V** : yeah 

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : yuppo

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : which is how I know something bad is gonna happen

**Napalm** : i mean already me and Malik can make sure you don’t do something stupid 

***lightsabersounds*:** Who are you kidding Tom we’d be doing the stupid shit with them

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : so Tom and Malik are the mom friends?

***lightsabersounds*:** tom is more like the friend that has to be in control of everything other than the friend who is actually the mom friend

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : you’re the mom friend Malik

***lightsabersounds*** : got to be something huh

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : which friend am i 

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : ‘looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll’

**Napalm** : isn’t that a hella old men

**Napalm** : *meme

**V.V** : what am I 

**NYOOOM** : the lovable one that looks all quiet and soft but has gone to jail for punching his teacher in the throat

**V.V** : can we stop bringing that up

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : Armo is the friend that looks like the stereotype but breaks every single one including the stereotype of not a typical whatever 

**NYOOOM** : is this because I switch clubs every two weeks 

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : yes

***lightsabersounds*:** shade is ‘looks like they could kill, has already poisoned your drink’

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : jansndndndndbdhdhjd

**NYOOOM** : oh tubular 

**V.V:** skdjjddj can that be our new catchphrase in the chat room

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : yes

**Napalm** : I high key hate all of you

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : but you low key love us

**Napalm** : yeah I do

**NYOOOM** : toms gay text it

**Napalm** : jehehdhd bi

**NYOOOM** : wait was that you coming out

**NYOOOM** : OTM I MENA IT COME HER E

{3:24 p.m} 

**Napalm** : what are we listening to

**All-Women-Are-Queens** : why did ya ask in the gc

**Napalm** : it’s Vincent’s turn with the aux and I don’t want to interrupt his music

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : it’s the mean girls broadway album

**Napalm** : what song are we listening to 

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : where you belong

**Napalm** : thanks

**Art-Is-Pain** : again thanks @*lightsabersounds* for letting me borrow your charger

***lightsabersounds*** : np 

**Napalm** : so hw exactly are we gonna figure out the powers if the govt cant do it

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : haven’t thought that far ahead

**Napalm** : not that surprised tbh

{5:02 pm}

**Napalm** : oh fuck of FUVK

{6:38 pm}

_ If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot started a conversation with GlowStick _

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : hy cux

**GlowStick** : shade?

**GlowStick** : what’s up?

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : im currently in the hospital

**GlowStick** : FOR WHAT??

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : so me and my friends being teenagers and not realizing that things could y’now

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : kill us we decided to figure out gave yall your powers

**GlowStick** : jfc

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : so my one friend named Malik brought a thing that measures radioactive

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : and we found this mine thats making the machine beep like crazy 

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : so we go in like any normal teenagers. 

**GlowStick** : okay continue

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : we find a glowing alien rock

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : and 

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : we ate it

**GlowStick** : IM SORRY YOU DID WHAT

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : what about ‘we ate it’ that wasnt clear

**GlowStick** : i swear to god I will kill you

_ TheNoogettyClusterFuck _

**GlowStick** : @RoyaltyTM do you remember out cousin she’s like 14

**RoyaltyTM** : yes????

_ GlowStick added If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot in the groupchat. _

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : sam that is the best name ever

**GlowStick** : i know right

**RoyaltyTM** : @If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot what did you do

**If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot** : we found the thing that gave yall your powers and ate it

**Pineapples** : oh vore?

**a_train_mf** : thanks! i hate it

**RoyaltyTM** : we?

_ GlowStick added *lightsabersounds*, All-Girls-Are-Queens, Art-is-Pain, Napalm, NYOOOM, V.V into the chat. _

**Pineapples** : i love your names

***lightsabersounds*:** i kinda want to change for our new powers

**NYOOOM** : smae

_ If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot changed chat name to Parasite _

**Pineapples** : MOOD!!!

_ All-Girls-Are-Queens changed chat name to Invisi-Girl _

_ NYOOM changed chat name to Cubchoo _

_ *lightsabersounds* changed chat name to Snow-Owl _

_ V.V changed chat name to Patrick _

_ Art-is-Pain changed chat name to Crab-Boy _

**gravityorboysdontaffectme** : at one point i want to ask but the othee point doesnt

**Parasite** : i get that

**Cubchoo** : @Napalm change your name

**Napalm** : i think mine still fits

**Patrick** : i guess

**Crab-Boy** : i’m tired :/ night night

**Invisi-Girl** : night night

{12:02 am}

**GlowStick** : i found the song that represents this gc

**GlowStick** :  [ link ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcA--c2U4Wg)

**Snow-Owl** : what the fuck

**GlowStick** : that’s fair tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH THIS SO FREAKING LONG
> 
> Tom's a senior, Vincent is a freshman, Everyone else is a sophmore including the main gang, minus breeze, petey, orsay, etc, etc.

**Author's Note:**

> This is so much fun and the others will be in the next chapters.


End file.
